Guilt

[Nikki23]

I want to know how people deal with the guilt. Lately just about everything is triggering guilt. Even if I have not done anything, I find myself thinking back to a conversation I had six months ago where I said something stupid or that time I accidently said this (ect) If I have nothing to be guilty for I find myself creating in my mind.

I have't been able to really breath in so long. It's like no matter how much air I take in...it doesn't matter. And if my anxiety starts breathing gets painful.

Usually I cry but I can feel myself cracking. I've been able to deal with a lot on my own, I don't want anyone to know. I feel so stupid, feeling guilty about every little thing, talking about it just makes it worse. How do you handle it/

[aim]

Nikki - sorry it took so long to answer your post. I really do feel that when it comes to guilt, learning to forgive yourself is the most important thing. I know that's easier said than done, but it's the only way to try and make yourself feel better, as well.

Also, you are probably feeling guilt about things that you've no need to feel guilty about! Please never forget... things are generally not as bad as they seem at the time, ok?

Although I don't suffer from that type of guilt all the time, I am a victim of many irrational thoughts that I know are irrational, but am unable to control. It really does sound to me that you are dealing with something akin to that.

Have you ever tried medication and/or therapy? I began taking the drug, Paxil, which is specifically for anxiety and it's helped more than I can tell you. It's helped me put things into perspective and take control of more of my thoughts.

Good luck to you, Nikki. I hope this helped a bit, and that you post again.

[Monty]

When I saw your subject it immediately got my attention. Often it has been said to me "if the guilt train goes by, you are the first one on".

I wish that there was an easy answer because I am in my 50's and all my life some people in my life have been able to get out of me whatever they want, by triggering my hair-trigger guilt complex.

Unfortunately I read something that I wasn't supposed to, my psychiatrists letter to the government explaining why I am permanently unemployable. It is because I suffer from "self-loathing".

That was a bitter pill to swallow. Mind you I guess that it was something that I have known for a long time anyway, just hurt to see someone else put it down on paper.

I am getting better though. Actually for me it is a matter of just little steps at a time. I have found comfort in music. I am not the most articulate of people and seem to feel better if I can find someone else who puts into words, things that I should know.

I was reintroduced to a song that I hadn't heard in a long time that helped me a little bit. The title is "How Could Anyone". I mentioned it on the music section of the depression forum it you would to look into it further.

Hang in there. You are an important person. I am looking forward to learning more about you, so post often.

[Emotional_77]

Just as aim said, its very easy to over exagerate and thats what most people tend to do when they think of past memories. They think it was worse than it actualy was. Sometimes, I just click my mind to something else, a game, a puzzle, music, tv, whatever it is that will get my mind off of it cause I know its not worth thinking about it. You could also try reversing your thought, and telling yourself no it was not your fault cause of this and this and this but that takes a lot of practice to get good at.

Therapy though is real good when someone has irrational thoughts cause they have many tools you can use to block them out. I would suggest maybe trying therapy or the above I mentioned earlier if you do not want to try therapy.

Well, take care of yourself.
Post a reply.

[aim]

Hey Emotional... I have to say that I find my irrational thoughts nearly impossible to control without the use of medication. I know there must be better and more long-term ways to learn to control them, and I don't want to stay on medication for my whole life, but I'll be danmed if I know what they are. Any ideas?

[Monty]

Aim, I know that I tend to just look, blankly, at a person that starts a sentence with "I know how you feel" because I know that is impossible.

All I can say is that guilty thoughts have plagued me for most of my adult life. Like Emotional one of my tricks with dealing with them, is by the use of distraction.

My guilty thoughts were probably different, or maybe not how do you describe something that is so invasive, because they were like racing thoughts. I just couldn't get the thoughts to stop running through my head, and a lot of it was dealing with guilt.

It worked for me to turn on the tv or the radio. Also I got that I was able to talk to people about what was going on in my head. It seemed like if I let the thoughts out, they stopped going round and round so fast. It sometimes even happened that once I heard the words coming out of my mouth, to someone else, that it eased the pain.

So often when I have talked to people with depression their one hope is something that is actually rather simple, to have peace. I am positive that I am not the only one reading your posts and will suggest anything that we can to give you some "peace".

[aim]

Racing thoughts... great way to describe what goes on in my head! Except mine are always telling me that I have some horrible disease that is going to kill me.

I know, thanks to the pioneering efforts of Woody Allen, hypochondria has become somewhat of a joke, and many of the people in my life see it that way, and poke fun at me for having it. But no one seems to understand that it is very very real. Imagine developing symptoms for something and truly believing you have it? Cancer? AIDS? Any of those. And yes, it is a relief to go to the doctor and have he or she tell you that you are healthy and none of those things plague you... but why can't the relief last? Why can't I take a medical professionals' word for it? Or a BLOOD tests' word for it? It's incredibly frustrating knowing that I am healthy but still believe that I'm not.

The Paxil has helped me to control these thoughts and I am very grateful for that. But what happens when the doctor says that it's time to stop? I do worry about that day.

I'm also an internet junkie in the sense that I can't stop looking up symptoms for diseases! The Paxil has helped me with that too, but again, I worry that it will all come rushing back to me when I discontinue the use of it. I want to have children, and know that I cannot keep using Paxil when I we decide to do that.

Anyway... sorry for the rant. But racing thoughts? Yes, I do get that. All too well!

[Emotional_77]

Hey Emotional... I have to say that I find my irrational thoughts nearly impossible to control without the use of medication. I know there must be better and more long-term ways to learn to control them, and I don't want to stay on medication for my whole life, but I'll be danmed if I know what they are. Any ideas?

Seeing a therapist is best as well when it comes to controlling your thoughts. Usually a therapist has different ways you can try blocking out your thoughts without the use of any medication.

You could always google blocking irrational thoughts or somewhere along that line on the web and I am sure it will come with many ideas as well.

Another thing you could do is trying to distract your thought with a favorite activity.

All these are good when it comes to getting rid of irrational thoughts. Medications kind of help in a way but I believe its best getting rid of these thoughts without the medication.

Hope this helped. (((aim)))

[aim]

Thanks for the tips emotional! Much appreciated!! For me, the medications seemed to have given me the clarity to stop the thoughts when they come racing at me - I wish I could do that without them!

I will look into all of the tips you gave - have you tried them?

[Emotional_77]

have you tried them?

Yep, I seen a counselor before and he gave me activities I could do to prevent them from happening, to me I would get lazy and not do them so what I found best for me was to keep me occupied in things I like to do.. I would fill my head with music, books, gaming, to keep the racing thoughts from getting to me. I did have a medication at night in case they bothered me too much cause at night thats when it hits me the most. So I did need medication somewhat to help with the thoughts but mostly the best advice is just keep your mind focused on things you enjoy doing and those thoughts wont even even have a chance getting in your head.

Good luck aims, if you ever need any more advice, let me know.

hugs

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

(((((((((((((((((((((((( Emotional ))))))))))))))))))))))

Just a hug to you dear friend.

Warmie/Jeanie

[Emotional_77]

(((((((((((((((((((((((( Emotional ))))))))))))))))))))))

Just a hug to you dear friend.

Warmie/Jeanie

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Jeanie))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Big hugs back at you

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

(((((((((((((((((((( Emotional )))))))))))))))))

Have missed you and your hugs. Thank you.

Jeanie

[aim]

Thanks Emotional!! I really appreciate the advice from someone who has been there with these stupid irrational thoughts!! I will try to lose myself. I still have them, but the Paxil really helps me put things in perspective and begin to think more clearly. Hopefully one day I won't need it and can control it on my own.

Thanks again and hugs back to you!!!!

[Emotional_77]

(((((((Jeanie, Aim))))))))))