People who recovered: How did you do it?

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People who recovered: How did you do it?

Postby Drea » Mon Nov 26, 2018 9:48 pm

Hi. First time posting on this board. The short version of my story is that I was in a relationship with someone who went through a traumatic event that completely changed him. I tried very hard for a very long time to help -- it was incredibly scary and stressful -- and in the end he pushed me away. It's been months since we last spoke but I still think about him every day. He was suicidal; I have no idea how he is doing now, there was absolutely zero closure, and that all completely tears me apart.

I noticed over the past year and a half or so that the the feelings I was feeling were not just sadness, worry or stress. I'm experiencing depression and anxiety to the point that I can't get out of bed. My personality and my outlook have completely changed. It's something that consumes me every waking hour, every day. I recognize the signs. There is this very heavy weight on my chest that won't go away. I have good days every once in a while but those are fleeting.

My job keeps me very busy so I've only spoken with a therapist online before. That was okay, but I'm still feeling how I feel. I have Ativan for anxiety and have not taken anything regularly for depression. I have found that doing cardio can sometimes elevate my mood for a few hours, sometimes into the next day, but getting to a gym is a mountain to climb some days. I have wonderful friends I can talk to about anything, but at this point I feel like I've said the same thing over and over.

I'm wondering: For those of you who have managed to pull yourself out of this, how did you do it? What made you feel better, whether it be temporarily or somewhat permanently?

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Re: People who recovered: How did you do it?

Postby littlestarsmum » Mon Nov 26, 2018 10:50 pm

Welcome to this forum, Drea.
I’m so sorry to hear about your struggles. I appreciate your willingness to help your loved one. I know it’s not easy to go through depression and anxiety. These are very complex issues that deserve personal and in-depth attention. In situation like yours, I believe there is no substitute for one-on-one interaction with a caring professional counselor/therapist. I’d suggest that you get help soon. I just said a prayer for you, and I hope God will surround you with His comfort and provide the strength and help you need at this time. Remember that you deserve to feel better and you don’t need to carry your burdens alone. You can always come here to share and I’m sure you’ll find a lot of help and support. Stay strong. Hugs!

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Re: People who recovered: How did you do it?

Postby RustyTavern » Tue Dec 04, 2018 11:20 am

Realise that the meaning of life is not to have a goal to be happy but rather a goal to handle strife. If you like 'God' is actually a devil. Indeed if God were traditional, then wouldn't it being hinting at the humbleness he advocates? Consider that if there were a devil, then of course, he would present himself as a goodly God. Yet all God's teachings hint at evil: smite; drink the blood; punishment; plagues/floods etc.

Realise that we're all playing in this game so we need to become masters.

The top of every hill gives a enables perspective

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Re: People who recovered: How did you do it?

Postby Jtw » Sat Mar 02, 2019 11:48 pm

For a long time, I beat this. How I did it, I changed my life. I know it sounds like a cliche, but I just abandoned my horrible, dreadful, crushingly awful existence and left it behind.
It wasn't easy. It took a long time, it took a lot of work but I did it.

It's gone wrong again now but I know it's a response to a horrible situation and it's temporary. I also know that I have it in me to beat this. Everyone does.

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Re: People who recovered: How did you do it?

Postby bluerose391 » Fri Mar 08, 2019 8:30 am

HI, I am a 51 year old woman living in India. I am single and not ready to mingle. I am a PhD.

I am writing about my struggles with spying and secret harrassment. I was on suicide point for several years but now going firmly in the opposite direction.
However I have not joined this site because I am want to commit suicide. The opposite is the truth. I will never commit suicide come what may. I want to talk about some reasons why people commit suicide. I want to expose some secrets. I want to point at certain things people do not know.

Since last 30 years somebody has consistently spied on me and played tricks with my life. I was severely harrassed using secret methods. My computer, mobile and TV are under the control of an outsider, most probabley a machine. This machine has 3 components- AI, mind reading, and microwave weapons. These 3 things constitute a highly deadly and advanced technology which totaly controlls all aspects of my life. These have beein used to create panic inside me for the last 30 years. somebody has played a clever game of deception with me. he fools me with various tricks. he has planned my tommorows.
A lot of people have harrassed me on the road and scared me stiff. for a long time I was afraid of walking on roads. A lot of psychological tricks have been played on me by the common public. A lot of neighbours have also consistently hararssed me. There has been an organized, deep rooted and systematic attack on me.Whatever my resoponse is, AI is being used to plan a counter attack. I am up against a mixture of humans+AI+ mind reading + microwave weapons. Microwave wepoans make loud noise on your roof intemintantly. For a long time I thought a man was making this noise. It is only last year I have learnt that it was being made by a machine. So tight was this spying machine. It behaved just as a human. Whereever you go in yoir house, it follows you there. It is extremely deadly and painful.

There is an involvement of a system in this. It is not one person. It is a sytem consisting of professionals, strangers, neighbours and machines. there is a networking of different people and also spying devices like phones, computers, AI. All these are mixed togather in this. How can one person do all this? This requires a lot of professional knowledge, something similar to a police organization. I am alive now and I am saying this. It is not one person. There is a lot of programming. Not a computer programming. But a programming of humans. It is also very tightly controlled. They do not make mistakes. They are better and superior than police. That is why police can never catch them. I had made a complaint in 2007, at that time police had told me that they could not find anything. Though It was being done very heavily. For example One day in 2015, I was standing on the side of a road. At that time, I saw a man who was a spy. I decided to take his photograph. So I secretly clicked his photograph. I was standing right in front of him within about half a metre distance. On reaching home I checked my camera, I found theere was no picture of the man, only of trees and sky. How did this happen? When I clicked the photo, there was no tree or sky between me and the man. So there is use of AI. It is a professional group, not a gang of indivuidual spies. it is very sytematic. It is very thorough. I know what i am saying.

One thing I have learnt is that police will never undestand what harrassment is. There is a simple reason for that. It has never happened to them. For somebody to understand harrassment, it has to happen to them. But once it does happen to them, they stop talking to people and shut themselves in their homes. So your complaint will not go to them. They will not be working. Those who are working have obviously not been harrassed, that is why they are working. So there is an if and but situation there.

My old laptop does weird things all the time. One year back it would not work for six months. I tried a lot of stuff to make it work but it never came on. After 6 months, it started working on its own without anybody repairing it. I did not even tell anybody about it. So these things keep on happening with me. Same things happen to my phone and TV. They work only if an outsider wants them to. They have become instruments of harrasment. They make me very angry most of the time. But sometimes they also work beautifully. For example, my old laptop always frustrated me without fail and would not work. sometimes an email would not open for 5 minutes. To just check one email I had to spend 2 hours. But nowadays for the last 10 days My old laptop is not giving me any problems. It is working beautifully. I can quickly check and send emails. So I am also utilizing this time to get lot of work done. Just sending a lot of job applications. I am doing a lot of work on the laptop while it lasts.

I have a neighbour living in flat 204. They have this habit of banging their door in the night. At around 10 pm they will bang their door loudly 3-4 times. It was very painful to bear becasue I have been bomabraded by extreme noise for the last 25 years. I have beocme very sensitive to noise. I have accepted the fact that they cannot shut their door without making noise. But for the last 10 or 15 days they are actually not banging anymore! Surpirses!! That means they know how to close their door slowly.

Everwhere I have lived, my next door neighbour was always making huge noise, sometimes banging doors, sometimes talking in a loud voice, sometimes lot of activity outside the door, children screaming continously etc etc.

The microwave wepaon in my house is no longer making loud noises. for the 15 days it has gone silent almost. The change is very drastic. Whenver it makes noise it is very painful. It makes you jump and scream. I simply want to kill that person who is responsible. It can alter your moods drastically.but when it does not make sound, it is very relieving. For the last 15 days, I am enjoying this calmness. It is heavenly.

In 2008, I had a woman neighbour who used to live flat S3 in a very far off city. My flat was S2 and opposite to her. She was around 35. She had a son who was around 10-12 years old. I did not know this woman at all and had nothing to do with her. She would talk once in awhile with me whenver I went out, just like Hi Bye types, nothing serious. Whenever I was planning to go out and started dressing, around that time, I used to hear very loud noise of somebody talking outside the flat. This woman would talk in a very loud voise through mobile. As long as I was inside my flat, this loud noise used to come in. After I finsihed dressing and collected my bags etc, I used to step outside. At that time I noticed that the woman was S3. She was standing near her door and continously talking loudly for 30 minutes. Strangely when you are talking on a mobile phone, there is another perosn on the other side. It appeared that that person was not doing any talking. S3 was doing all the talking continously. Till I went out of the building, I heard this monologue nonstop. However On days that I did not go out, I did not hear her talking. It happened all the time without fail. It started getting on my nerves becasue her talking was vey loud.As long as i was preparing to go out, this loud noise continued uninterrupted. But as soon as I was out of the building her talk also stopped. one day after going out of the building, i suddenly returned and found out that she was no longer standing outside and talking. he talks only as long as I was around.
Many times when I was inside my flat, I heard loud noise from the roof. As if somebody was hammering with a rock. but on roof there was no flat, just an empty terrace. So why would anybody make any noise on the terrace. It used to disturb me. Many times the sound came when I was changing my dress. I thought that somebody was watching me through a camera. One day when the sounds started coming, I decided to check it. I locked my flat and went out. I found that at that particular momenet, S3 was standing outside the flat and staring at me. I climbed the stairs and went to the terrace. I saw that S3's son was sitting on the terrace and hitting with a brick. he was not doing anything just hitting the terrace with a brick. I told him to stop it. I came back to my flat. After for two three weeks thre was no noise but later on it again started.
Sometimes when I went out I saw that S3 also went out at the same time. When I returned, S3 also returned at the same time. This woman behaved in a fanatical manner. As if she was posseessed. She was terribly interested in me and used to aggressively spread rumors about me. But there was nothing between us. She used to carry on one sided attacks on me. But she also used to talk politely with me. She seemed in a great hurry. But she was not working. the whole day she could be found in her flat, the door being open and she either talking on the phone or talking to somebody in her house.
This kind of aggressive fanatical behaviour I have seen repeatedly by my neighbours. somebody or the other would show the same behaviour. No matter where I lived. I changed house 10 times in the last 10 years. Everywhere the neighbour showed the same beahviour. I lived in diffeent states and diffeent cities. Everywhere this pattern continued.
Infact whenever I went to a public place, suddenly a man would come near me and start talking rapidly and loudly on his mobile phone. In post office, markets, shops and also roads etc this used to happen. I got very irritated.

There was a lot of harrassment on roads. Many strangers used to make circles around me with bikes, many tried to hit me with bikes. even if went from the very side of the road, many bikers (30) would drive almost touching me.

Once when I went to the bank, I found that the network was not working there. On enquiry, I was told that it would come back only after 3 hours. I did not want to return home and then come back again. I had urgent work in the bank. so I stayed in the bank for 3 hours. after 4 hours the network returned. then I could get my work done. Then I went home. After 3 - 4 days I noticed that my computer was behaving strangely. I relized that while i was in the bank, somebody had entered my home and put a chip inside my computer. This sort of thing used to happen to me many times. Something would go wrong in the bank and then I would not be able to return home within 2 hours and at that time some miscreant woiuld enter my house and tampere with my computer, TV, water filter etc. Now who can do this? Okay entering my house is easy becasue I am a common man, but disconnecting the network in the bank? that too when I went to the bank? One individual cannot do this. This need to be organized. An organization is responsible.

I have learnt that somebody wants to set-up my life and project me as a joker. He has already made a joke of my life. I have made a resolution that I will never commit matter what. but restarting life seems very immpossible. I am extremely unsure, suspicious and afraid. My enmies are very desperate to make me mad and they have done very drastic things to me. Things that you would not normally do to another person. anything goes as long as no one is looking. Some friends of mine sudenly died. I am now afraid of talking to my friends becasue I am afraid they might die. so I i have stopped talking to lot of people.

many times when I think about it, I feell like I do not know what to do or how to go about it. At other times, I just go out and do my work and pretend to be happy. The road based harrassment has decreased. so I am able to go out and do my work. In the last 4-5 years I have restarted going out a lot and have got a lot of work done. The governemnt in my state is very pro-people. the police is quick and responsive. that is a very big positive factor because now criminals also think twice before trying something.
However my enemies do ocasionally reach me and give me hints of vey tight spying. they want to keep me under pressure always. they want me to think of them.
My parents are 80 year old. i live with them. They are mixed with my enemies. Both of them told me lot of lies in the past 6 years and fooled me. My mother kept on breaking a lot of stuff in the house and I was always running to market to buy them. Sometimes a tap, a shoe, a spoon, a knife, a doorbell, a towel et etc. It made me very angry. I cannot understand why a 80 year old woman would do that. Even while talking they try to make me very angry, saying some stupid lie all the time. Both of them are very desp to stop me from working but I do not know why. They both seem to know about these microwave wepoans. It is surprising that a 80 year person who is not that educated would be aware of microwave weapons but police is not. I myself am not. How is it they know so many things which the police do not know. I know that they themselves do not know but somebody is telling them. Somebody is giving them orders on a daily basis and they are obeying without asking any questions. this somebody is keeping the gun on their shoulders and firing. somebody wants the blame to fall on my parents. Somebody wants to make a tamasha of my life.
So there is a lot of paradox in this story. I know I will never ever know the real truth. The fact is that corporates are playing a deadly game with ordinary people. I decided to dig this a long time back. I have done a lot of digging. But it takes a toll on your life. I have come this far but cannot go any further.

From all these things you can make out that my case is a special or unique case. it is not a typical harrassmnet case. it is different from others. But there are others too to whom this has been done for example Fiza, Kamala Das etc. It is my theory that it is happening for a certain reason. what is that reason, I have no idea.

Three years back, US diplomats working in Havana, Cuba, were attacked by sonic vibrations. Some 20 officers heard disturbing noises in their office. they complained to their govt. the govt recalled them. then the US govt set up a committee to examine the causes. It was decided to let a medical collge examine the diplomats in detail and find out the truth. Accordingly, A neurophysiology dept in a reputed Hospital was assigned this job. the docters examined the diplomats in detail, brain damage, memory loss, hearing loss, psychological damages etc etc. were studied in detail. After this the findings were published in a paper. The Paper is : "Swansen R. L. et al, 2018, JAMA, 319:1125."
According to this paper, all the officers heard a disturbing noise, they could not locate the source of the sound, it was not a hallucination. It was a real thing. This noise caused memory loss, brain damage, hearing loss, psychological problems. It also impacted their working and they were afraid of working. So the officers were given treatment in the hospital. After treatemnt most of the officers were able to work. one did not return to work.
This is a very remarkable piece of work. It proves the existence of microwave wepaons and their effects. It proves that it is not a hallucination or a lie. It also proves that microwave weapons hamper your ability to work.
But there are also some questions:
1. How did Cuba get its hands on such microwave wepaons?
2. Why did US govt not ask any questions to Cuba?
3. If Cuba, which is a poor, developing country could get these wepoans, how is it possible that US does not have them? How is it possible that US does not know about them? That is highly unbelievable. Anything that Cuba gets, US is likely to have got 100 years back.
4. How is it that US govt has not made any statements about this in the UN about this?
5. How is it that a lot of people in US have written books about this topic but the govt itself seems to be ignorant. How is it that wikipedia and internet are full of articles about this but all governemnets are totally silent. All this is not fake news. Why is the media also not making any noise?????

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Re: People who recovered: How did you do it?

Postby HopeIsReal » Sat Mar 30, 2019 11:19 pm

Hi there!

I would like to share some hope with you all:

I believe in the one true God.
In the beginning God created the heavens,
Earth, and man. He said it was good, but
Man chose to do things their own way and sinned. And sin separates us from God.
In the Bible God shows how He still loves us even when we sin.
So God sent His one and only son, Jesus to come to earth.
Jesus was fully God and fully man. Jesus never sinned,
He lived a perfect life. When Jesus was on the earth
He healed the sick, cast out demons & raised the dead.
After that Jesus not only lived for us, but He died for us.
When He died on the cross He died for all the sins of
Humanity. In three days He rose from the dead. When
We choose Jesus we can live a life of freedom.
Now we are not separated from God anymore.

John 3:16-17
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

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Re: People who recovered: How did you do it?

Postby Sadinatura » Tue Apr 23, 2019 11:18 am

There's no such thing as recovery. It just goes away and stores for later.

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Re: People who recovered: How did you do it?

Postby KimmyO » Wed May 01, 2019 11:53 am

I'm so sorry. It is hard to be there for one in depression without it rubbing off a bit and with no closure it can haunt one. I don't know if it would help or hurt to reach out to him and see if he's better or not. Maybe thru a third party, find out for closure. Definitely talking w a counselor is good, maybe a church near you or your work might have one that is free, many do, and it helps plus their time schedule is usually more flexible.
Another thing that helps a lot! is taking magnesium malate and ginseng, they calm the mind body and spirit and get rid of sticky negative thoughts that loop. They have helped many! Malate is the best type of magnesium because it is most bio available and a better quality.
Also, take time for you, even if it's a squeeze. Take a class or join a group. Cardio is good too, maybe make it an outside walk with a friend to take care of your outside time, exercise and social at same time.
Lastly, maybe get into volunteering, even online, to help others who aren't so close to you it tears you up. Helping others helps us. Best to you, I know you can overcome this and use your knowledge to help others too! <3

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Re: People who recovered: How did you do it?

Postby rooce » Tue Jun 04, 2019 3:56 pm

Sadinatura wrote:There's no such thing as recovery. It just goes away and stores for later.

Sadinatura - I feel the same way. eventhough i am hoping there is someone out there who can truely tell me that they are fully recovered.
How do we get out of this cycle?

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Joined: Mon Mar 04, 2019 6:26 pm

Re: People who recovered: How did you do it?

Postby Sadinatura » Wed Jun 05, 2019 12:27 pm

Rooce, I have no idea. Time? I am trying this summer to focus myself on work and other things to keep myself preoccupied than becoming severely depressed over the summer. I think the best thing for me to do is distract myself for the time being and continue going to counseling. Would you like to pm with me? I think we could really connect together with talking. Stay strong.

Regina Quirion
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Re: People who recovered: How did you do it?

Postby Regina Quirion » Fri Jul 19, 2019 8:20 am

Hey hi, sorry I might not be the one with ideal answer. I am suffering from the same devil's haunting. A friend of mine who though had it before has suggested me to get a pet, emotional bearing or support animal, I am not sure what he was referring to, but he was suggesting that I should get a pet.

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Re: People who recovered: How did you do it?

Postby Spleefy » Mon Jul 22, 2019 11:27 am

Hi Drea,

Although this is a late post, I shall still write this in hope that it will help future readers.

It can indeed be a grueling process to help those we love whom are experiencing hardship—especially something as debilitating as depression.

I’m sure you did all you could to help your dear friend. Depression is a complex and multifaceted process that typically requires more help than what one person can do alone.

I lived with depression for many years.

During my “marriage” to depression, I saw a psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist, counsellors, youth workers, and I have been on both pharmaceuticals and natural remedies.

None of these worked.

Depression is like a barnacle.

A barnacle secretes an adhesive substance, superior to synthetic glue, to cling to a surface. There, it will spend the rest of its life anchored to the surface, slowly reclaiming it—much in the same way that depression does human life.

I spent years trying to remove depression, but to no avail.

The more I tried to wash away the adhesive glue of depression, the sticker it became—possibly because I was growing physically and mentally exhausted, disheartened, and hopelessness at each unsuccessful attempt at removing it.

The turning point was when, one day, I decided to stop fighting depression and instead learn to live with it…

Perhaps even grow to love it.

After all, I spent most of my life being "married" to and hating the depression, so I thought I may as well start darn well loving it and accepting that I may have it “for better, for worse, till death do us part”.

I figured if I can’t remove the depression, then I will just live my life, to the best of my ability, and depression will just have to come along for the ride instead of it roping and dragging me around.

By making this decision, I flipped the script and took back control of my own life.

Of course, it took a few years more before I adjusted to this new way of thinking and approach.

I signed up for a course. The study helped keep my mind busy. It was hard to concentrate at times with depression nagging me and trying to keep me down, but I held fast and persevered.

I decided to focus on enhancing my health rather than to directly remove the depression.

I completely revamped my diet by flooding my body with much needed nutrients from fruits, salads, and abundant fish for omega-3 whilst eliminating simple sugars and processed foods from my diet.

I also drank “green smoothies” each day, which consisted of coconut water with fruit and vegetables and spirulina powder (supplement) to boost nutrients.

Nutrients are vital to health, including restoring and maintaining balance to our neurochemistry, such as serotonin and dopamine—neurotransmitters that makes us feel good, happy and motivated. Not enough of these brain chemicals and we feel flat, tired, unmotivated and lifeless.

So nutrients was key to help my brain make more of these vital neurotransmitters.

I also exercised copiously and vigorously each day. Exercise enhances serotonin in the brain and thus boosts mood.

I knew the key was to restore balance to my neurochemistry.

I had enough personal experience with depression to know that all the psychotherapy in the world would not help as long as my neurochemistry was out of whack.

I could think positive all I want and say there are no weeds in the garden. But if my brain is producing insufficient neurotransmitters, I will continue to feel miserable, unmotivated, tired, suicidal…

And there will still be weeds in the garden!

After several months, for the first time in years, I woke up one day realising that I no longer had suicidal ideation.

I felt more motivated, and was even planning for the future.

The chemicals in my brain was firing on all cylinders, and I felt “alive” for the first time I can remember!

This had lasting results, as I have been put to the test with the the trials of life and depression is non-existent. I just feel the beautiful and natural feelings of sadness, grief, joy, and laughter—emotions that healthy people experience.

Although, I did have a bout of depression about two years ago that came on quite suddenly. But this was short-lived.

I was in a very dark place for about a month, possibly two.

This is when, out of desperation, I turned to God and began praying earnestly for him to take away my pain...

To comfort me...

To love me.

The sequence of events that took place after that strengthened my faith in Jehovah God and I have never looked back.

My faith in Jevovah has helped to make me a spiritually-driven person—something I regret not doing years ago. But Jehovah's timing is always perfect, even if we don't realize it at the time.

Faith does not mean I dismiss science. On the contrary.

It means I can enjoy the proven benefits nutrition and exercise has on health, but also become whole by accepting God’s invitation to be his friend, submitting myself to him, and by placing my complete trust and faith in him.

Being a spiritual person has taken me to new levels, helping me to “strip off the old personality, with its practices, and clothe myself with the new personality”.— Colossians 3:9, 10.

The Bible--God's Word--helps to give me guidance, imparts wisdom, and values and standards to adopt as my own and to live by as well as to find comfort during difficult times.

I will leave you with a few of many scriptures that comfort me during difficult times and trials…

“Throw all your anxiety on [God], because he cares for you”.—1 Peter 5:7.

“Let your petitions be made known to God; and the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts”.—Philippians 4:6, 7.

“Throw your burden on Jehovah, and he will sustain you. Never will he allow the righteous one to fall”.—Psalm 55:22.

Drea, I hope you have found inner peace and joy once again. If you have not yet found it, you will according to your faith.

You and your dear friend will be in my thoughts and prayers.

All my love,


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Re: People who recovered: How did you do it?

Postby Chana468 » Fri Aug 02, 2019 6:02 am

Ok but the rational thing to do would be to do something worthwhile before you go?


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