What do i do now?
Posted: Wed Jan 28, 2009 8:55 pm
On my way home staring out the window i started dreaming of a family that doesnt exist. A loving mother a supportive father you know the usual, but it shall never be that way.
My intentions is not to give out or feel sorry for myself. i just need some advice. My mother has been suffering from depression for as long as i can remember, we have never experienced a nice christmas, birthday etc her depression wont allow it!
I have done i can i have been supportive and loving, but its always the same she has a drink or two and am the bad guy, I am the cause of everything that has gone wrong in her life, and i guess i am!
But, i cant take it anymore am just home on a visit and as i write this i can hear her screaming about how much she hates me and what a bad daughter i am, and the part that kills me she'll never remember in the morning or if she does i have to reassure her that it is ok to treat me like this or risk the chance of her trying to commit suicide again! help i love her so much but am afraid that i am beginning to hate her and myself!
My intentions is not to give out or feel sorry for myself. i just need some advice. My mother has been suffering from depression for as long as i can remember, we have never experienced a nice christmas, birthday etc her depression wont allow it!
I have done i can i have been supportive and loving, but its always the same she has a drink or two and am the bad guy, I am the cause of everything that has gone wrong in her life, and i guess i am!
But, i cant take it anymore am just home on a visit and as i write this i can hear her screaming about how much she hates me and what a bad daughter i am, and the part that kills me she'll never remember in the morning or if she does i have to reassure her that it is ok to treat me like this or risk the chance of her trying to commit suicide again! help i love her so much but am afraid that i am beginning to hate her and myself!
