What do i do now?

[tiger85]

On my way home staring out the window i started dreaming of a family that doesnt exist. A loving mother a supportive father you know the usual, but it shall never be that way.
My intentions is not to give out or feel sorry for myself. i just need some advice. My mother has been suffering from depression for as long as i can remember, we have never experienced a nice christmas, birthday etc her depression wont allow it!
I have done i can i have been supportive and loving, but its always the same she has a drink or two and am the bad guy, I am the cause of everything that has gone wrong in her life, and i guess i am!
But, i cant take it anymore am just home on a visit and as i write this i can hear her screaming about how much she hates me and what a bad daughter i am, and the part that kills me she'll never remember in the morning or if she does i have to reassure her that it is ok to treat me like this or risk the chance of her trying to commit suicide again! help i love her so much but am afraid that i am beginning to hate her and myself!

[aim]

Oh tiger...I am so sorry you are dealing with this! Please remember that none of this is your fault. It sounds as if your mom is not only suffering from depression, but perhaps an alcohol problem as well. There is nothing you can do, I'm afraid. You need to take care of yourself more than anything. I know you love your mother, but don't allow yourself to fall into her depression as well. Have you tried really talking to her? Does she know she has a problem? Is there any other family you can discuss this with? Siblings and/or parents of hers? Just stay strong...it was a good first step, writing on this forum. Perhaps you should visit the chat room affiliated with this site? It may help you to talk to people dealing with similar issues...Good Luck, tiger. Remember...we are all only responsible for our OWN actions...

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

Hi tiger85,

I have found talking with the chatters in the depression chat room that is connected with this forums such a big help.

Surprising how much we all have in common, from issues such as yours to daily life, medication, etc.

Perhaps give it a chance, come in, visit, chat with others, you will see you aren't alone in your feelings.

Hope to see you there, it is a safe haven.

Warmie