Hello Lost-Soul, I read your post and just want to give you a big hug! It seems like you have been dealing with so much over the past few years and I am so sorry for that. One of my daughters has been diagnosed with autism and another one is in the process of being diagnosed. Though my children are young, I can see so many of the things that you mention: the frustrations, the tearing down of self-esteem and others already. I want to encourage you and let you know about an organization that has really helped me: Joni and Friends (
www.joniandfriends.org). I originally got involved because I am bed/wheelchair bound but found out that they offer help and assistance for more than physical disabilities. Every summer they have family camps all over the world. They also have Response Teams who will provide encouragement, information, and resources for your disability. You have been dealing with this for a long time, but it seems like you need a lot of encouragement.
It may be hard to see this, but you are an exceptional person with gifts and talents unique to you! One of the things that autism tends to do is force the person affected to spend too much time on what they “can’t” do so well, which overshadows the exceptional talents and abilities that they do have. So now that we have heard about all the things that are (inadequate, negative, lacking, haven’t, don’t have, etc.), now you must tell us what you are good at? What activity (or activities) can you just “forget the time” doing?
Thank you for sharing with us in the forum. Please be encouraged and know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers.