YouTube IT!!!

[CitM]

When I have severe anxiety as well as at times physical pain, the depression hits. One of the tools I use to combat this is Youtube.

Yesterday, I was going through a rough day and started looking at pet rescues. Dogs and cats NEVER deserve to have the horrible things done to them that some mean people deliver. But what inspired me yesterday was their ability to just put it behind them. To just make that decision in the turn of events of 'it's over and I'm being saved." That moment was there over and over and over again. And with that moment came profound physical and emotional healing. These animals didn't just recover, they transformed their lives by dropping all of the suffering, including the emotional and mental abuse suffered while physically suffering. I think that is the real key to freeing one self from mental health issues.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Whatever has happened before that was hurtful is in the past and can no longer hurt me. It is a new day, a new millennium, a new age full of as many wonders and promise as the last.

[100footpole]

Citm,

I am the 9th person to look at this post. Thanks for the advice ... you are right we can't dwell on the negatives .... we need to keep looking forward, and know that we will never give up.

[specter]

Dwelling on a negative isn't my problem. Having the trauma stuck in my brain is the problem. It's like a sound bite with the "repeat" button on and unless I work super hard to get it unstuck, it's going to stay that way, and it's going to torture me over and over and over again. ... This means I'm going to have to remember in order to know what they are, transmute the situation in my mind, and then reprogram my brain to process it normally so that it no longer traumatizes me.... Have to do it.

... Depression is another story. I don't have to stay depressed. Can't speak for anyone else, but I can speak for me. Depression is my relief, not my struggle. PTSD/DID are my struggles. Those are what's slowly killing me.

Kind of funny how my mind works.

[100footpole]

Hi Specter and Citm,

I love both your posts. I think self-reflection is the best way to work through our feelings.

Letting an idea go is so important, yet so difficult. I agree that sometimes my mind can feel like its on an infinite loop ... especially with respect to negative thoughts. I am jealous of optimists, for whom things always "work out". I often picture my situation as a jagged graph between good and bad. When things are good I worry that they'll go bad. When things are bad I worry that they will get worse.

One meditation I have is that old prayer: "Grant me the patience to change what I can, the serenity to accept what I can't, and the wisdom to know the difference." Patience and Serenity are immediate virtues ... and when they start to dissipate a good technique is to take ... or at least schedule ... a break. Wisdom is what you use to develop your strategy when you are on break ... when you re-enter the fray are you going to be patient or serene?

I can never be an optimist, but I can not be impatient and work on acceptance.