Breaking the Cycle

[Spirt]

For better or worse having been diagnosed with depression and feeling like a complete failure for not being able to cope I have stated to read numerous books trying to discover why I might feel like I do and trying to find a way forward!
I'm depressed about being depressed and, probably to avoid coping with my emotions, I deal with it in 2 ways: run - which I can't do at the moment due to injury and by working myself to the ground this according to the counsellor is a form of self harm. If however, my body gives out on me due to lack of sleep from Pushing myself too hard and I have to stop, this seems less of a failure than having to stop and deal with 'myself'
Does this make any sense to anyone?
I can't seem to break the cycle!
Over Tiredness is definitely a trigger for a downward spiral but my job is the one area of my life I feel I have control and am good at: vicious circle
I feel like I'm on an emotional roller coaster that I can't explain and I want to get off! Too many plates spinning in the air something has to give surely.

[sarahong]

I'm also trying to figure out how to break this cycle. I'd like to think it'll stop when I start to do things differently.

[NickStokes]

Dont feel like a failure. Depression is completely normal and there is nothing you should feel shame about. Remember that there are people around you who are willing to help you out!