Depression Understood Forums

I'm going back to college in the fall and I'm worried that I wont be able to succeed. I'm plainly addicted to video games and food (terrible combination) and I feel so alone. I never get to see my friends and pretty much every one at my job sucks. I'm constantly surrounded by my parents who I obviously can't relate to at all but for some reason, I try to talk to my mother about things I find interesting but the only response I get is a look of apathy and disappointment. I want romance but since I'm never around people my own age, that probably wont happen. I have crippling social anxiety and depression which means every social interaction is forced and nothing is enjoyable. I'm extremely irresponsible in every way and I avoid my problems almost always. I need to break this cycle but I wonder if I even can at this point..... I often wish I was dead just so I could avoid the inevitable failure that awaits me.