this is sooo hard...

[inthewind]

I'm so depressed, and have incredible anxiety because I'm alone. I have no close friends, because I found that when I tried to cultivate them I would end up used or hurt. So, I stay alone and while I don't have issues with going outside, I tend to stay in the house, and I tend to just go to work and come home. I'm starting to get very scared lately, adding to my anxiety, because while I don't plan to kill myself or anything, I sure do wish sometimes that I would go to sleep and not wake up. I have animals I care for, and that's the only reason I wouldn't want to disappear...who would take care of them?

I really do want to have friends and feel good, but when I wake up to start a new day I feel horrified that I have to try to drag myself through another day. I'm looking for a counselor and I'm taking meds, but the meds aren't helping. Does anyone know how I might get into a group of some sort of people struggling with depression? I'm really so glad that you all are here, it helps me to know that I'm not alone with feeling this way. I feel like a freak and think people can "see it" on me even though I try to hide my sadness.

Thanks for listening, this is my first post. Looking forward to 'meeting' all of you so we can all help each other along. I'm relieved there is a board like this to go to.

[babyjean]

I go through the same thing I have noticed the older I get the harder its been.
I can relate to having no close friends for similar reasons
It wasn't till last year that I started to try and push myself more to make friends.
What I did was trying to get myself to go out more (even if it was a walk in the park) and try to push myself to ask new people to go out together. Make sure I ask myself if the person would make a good friend and if I want to get closer to them.
I may not have a lot of close friends, but I have made 1 close friend in the last year. I haven't talked about my depression or let her too close. Im hoping one day I will.
You are a lot stronger than you believe. You may not believe you can do it ever day or push yourself out of your comfort zone. But you are worth it and you are strong enough.

[tyler102695]

You just described my life. I sleep 10 hours a day and would sleep longer if my family let me. My dreams seem to be the only place where I'm somewhat happy, but lately even those are slowly being replaced by nightmares. Sometimes I go to sleep and pretend that I'm not going to wake up the next morning, that I'll just dream forever. Then I'm disappointed when my alarm goes off and I open my eyes to realize that I did, in fact, wake up. I'm a 19 year old female, and I'm still trying to figure my life out. I don't have the chance to leave the house much because I don't have a license, which is because my parents don't have time to teach me most of the time. So I'm stuck at home, where I work, learn, and even shop. This contributes to me not having friends, and the ones I did have seem to be fine without me. I'm so miserable. If you need someone and I need someone, maybe we can help one another.