Depression Understood Forums

Hi...please bear with me since this is my very first time on a fourm for my depression..

So i'm not sure where to start, I've been stuck in a rut for quite sometime now. You see, I've lost myself..

A few years ago i started smoking weed, doing other drugs, i was promiscuous, I've been in bad relationship after another..I've never really been happy with myself or where my life is going.

I have accepted the fact that i need to get myself some help. Recently i started seeing a really good psychiatrist and we've figured out my depression is probably caused by my untreated ADD/ADHD, so i'm on medication for ADD and I've noticed my depression hasn't changed much. My ADD is doing much better, but lately my depression gets so out of hand i just don't know what to do. It mostly acts up when i'm lonely and out of pot...i know i need to quit but its the willpower and motivation i lack..

I'm trying to make lifestyle changes, more excersize, enough sleep, changing my eating habits, but there's always a few days out of the month that my depression kicks in and its hard to bounce back.

I really don't know where else to turn since i don't have much support from family and don't have many friends in the city. I just need someone i can vent to who understands what i'm going through....so i'm reaching out for any advice...

Please help...

Hi Lostandlonely22,
I'm sorry to read about your predicament.
Additionally, I relate to the guilt of making poor choices regardless of my better judgment.
Have you asked for forgiveness, and have you forgiven yourself as well?
The reason I ask is because all too often depression stems from unresolved guilt that we carry throughout our lives. When this burden grows too heavy, it can become like a weight that crushes us from within. Just as our physical bodies will only endure a certain amount of tangible weight before weighing us down, it is similar with the spirit/soul.
It's been proven by medical science that guilt, and long held grudges (against one's self or others) can cause cancer, amongst other things. If the negative baggage we hold inside can actually give root to cancer, what harm can it do to the mind and emotions?

Recently, after a few moments of self introspection, it dawned on me how much truth there is to that. Something so obvious had finally
occurred to me, and when it did, I was able to resolve an issue that I didn't even know had been robbing me of peace! The issue was one of guilt. While I'd only skimmed the surface of it before, I faced it head on and then prayed for forgiveness.
I then forgave myself.

Hey there.
Yes I have realized I do carry alot of guilt and it is one of the thing's i'm trying to let go of. It's something that's just always there. I have good days and bad days, of course, everyone does. But i'm trying, i'm just glad i've been able to start getting help. I want to start going to church again but I have such a hard time getting up in the morning.