Sharing this on birthday. (may trigger)
Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2014 1:37 am
Hello,
Today, it's my birthday, and it's been a while since I've last shared any of my feelings here. So, here I am...
These experiences I'm going to relay to you all may be triggering, but there is a positive and inspirational component that might result in helping someone. Otherwise, I'd probably just keep this to myself.
About a week ago, I was suffering through a depressive spell which led to me cutting on my wrists. This has happened in the past, although it isn't a regular habit of mine. It was a spontaneous and irrational response to my recent bouts of loneliness and pain. It was also too late to call anybody, as most everyone I know lives in a time zone that's later than mine and had work the next day. So, I sat alone on my front porch doing 'the deed' between 2:00-3:30 in the morning...
Suddenly, a young man walked up the porch and sat next to me. I never saw him coming and he seemed to just appear out of nowhere. There was something about him that put me at ease, where as normally alarm bells would be sounding within! Strangely, he seemed to sit near me with 'purpose.'
Following a couple of minutes of conversation, after he had (without surprise) looked over my wrist, I had a moment of complete recall! I said, "This isn't the first time we've met on a night when I've done this!"
With surprise, I recalled one night around a couple years ago, when in a different town he'd walked onto my porch under the same circumstances!
Both nights, he had arrived as though from thin air, had come with an aire of purpose and showed a kind concern for me. A few nights ago, when I asked if it was, in fact, him, he just stared into my eyes. I then asked if he were an angel, and he subtly changed the subject every time. Soon afterwards, he got up to leave after I told him I wouldn't continue harming myself. He told me he was concerned that sometime I'll do this and go too deep. As with the last time I'd received a visit from him, I couldn't see where he'd gone to. After watching him walk around a bush, I not only didn't see him anymore, but the sound of his footsteps abruptly went silent too.
This may sound crazy, but I believe that God sent an angel...allowing me to recognize the same person that had come to my aid a couple of years ago.
Today, it's my birthday, and it's been a while since I've last shared any of my feelings here. So, here I am...
These experiences I'm going to relay to you all may be triggering, but there is a positive and inspirational component that might result in helping someone. Otherwise, I'd probably just keep this to myself.
About a week ago, I was suffering through a depressive spell which led to me cutting on my wrists. This has happened in the past, although it isn't a regular habit of mine. It was a spontaneous and irrational response to my recent bouts of loneliness and pain. It was also too late to call anybody, as most everyone I know lives in a time zone that's later than mine and had work the next day. So, I sat alone on my front porch doing 'the deed' between 2:00-3:30 in the morning...
Suddenly, a young man walked up the porch and sat next to me. I never saw him coming and he seemed to just appear out of nowhere. There was something about him that put me at ease, where as normally alarm bells would be sounding within! Strangely, he seemed to sit near me with 'purpose.'
Following a couple of minutes of conversation, after he had (without surprise) looked over my wrist, I had a moment of complete recall! I said, "This isn't the first time we've met on a night when I've done this!"
With surprise, I recalled one night around a couple years ago, when in a different town he'd walked onto my porch under the same circumstances!
Both nights, he had arrived as though from thin air, had come with an aire of purpose and showed a kind concern for me. A few nights ago, when I asked if it was, in fact, him, he just stared into my eyes. I then asked if he were an angel, and he subtly changed the subject every time. Soon afterwards, he got up to leave after I told him I wouldn't continue harming myself. He told me he was concerned that sometime I'll do this and go too deep. As with the last time I'd received a visit from him, I couldn't see where he'd gone to. After watching him walk around a bush, I not only didn't see him anymore, but the sound of his footsteps abruptly went silent too.
This may sound crazy, but I believe that God sent an angel...allowing me to recognize the same person that had come to my aid a couple of years ago.