Depression Understood Forums

I woke up at 3 am from an anxiety induced dream involving a friend/lover (it's complicated) and couldn't get back to sleep properly. I woke up later with a sour stomach and eventually had to vomit. Tons of acid in my stomach from all the anxiety i've had lately. I've been on cipralex 10mg for the past 3 days now and I have a feeling it has amped up my anxiety a bit already. Not to mention i'm also fighting a really bad depression. Today my friendship with said casual lover kinda fell apart. Things got too emotional too quickly for both of us and we've had to cut it off. Apparently he still wants to be friends but i'm not sure if that's possible on my end with the emotions involved. I know he is a wonderful person that never meant any harm, this is just really horrible timing. I feel really hopeless. Like why bother pushing forward. I just can't see any light in my tunnel even though I know there is a good possibility of me going back to school in the future. I am full of despair and am just waiting for my therapy sessions to start in April. I feel lost and just wonder, why do I have to keep living when there is nothing worth living for.

Ulysses, you yourself have said in your post you DO have something to live for. you want to go back to school, even therapy sessions are something to look forward to. I know its hard having a relationship breakdown, but never give anyone all of you, its not for them to have. Keep your head held high, remember positive thinking and give it time, you never know what will happen. Everything and anything takes time, you ARE worth it =)

I erm don't have anything intelligent to say hey. Lol oops. I just want you to know that there is one soul out there in the universe that is wishing you the best. I hope that can make you smile just a little???
I have learned a bit from this reply. I gave someone all of me - this year. I liked him so much. I had a huge crush on him. I don't know but it did not work out so I really do feel your pain. It's horrible. I've been struggling with depression too because I really wanted him to like me back. We only ended up just sleeping together I guess.
Can I tell you something that helped me just a little.... Maybe erm being around someone who has a dog so you can stroke it, or getting a dog? Dogs are so nice - they like you because of you. I don't even know what that means.

I hope you are making it day by day.

I totally agree with K9 support...my latest meltdown was over our male chihuahua, and concern for his safety. I would be lost forever without my chihuahua kids!