Depression Understood Forums

I sometimes lie awake at night and just wonder why it happens to be that I am so wrong all the time. Why do I get it so wrong? And most of me I'm just too scared to live.
Soo stupid huh?... But perhaps not.
What I do know though is that it's too hard to confess these thoughts to a friend. I mean I have a friend who's availed herself but I still find it so hard.
I know she won't understand me. It seems as if I am not making any sense.

I so badly want to be held right now. That's one of my biggest wishes. I just want to lie in someone's arms and not feel like I have to earn his or her love or approval. I wish I could be held simply because I'm me.

I know how you feel. Sometimes I feel so lost and confused I don't even know who i really am or what I'm supposed to do on earth. Do you have any other means of support?

I am really sorry you feel that way Do you have someone?
To be honest, I don't know where I lost my head.
There are people who say I can talk to them, but sometimes when they find out what I'm really like, they change their minds, or I think they run out of patience. I am always too scared to try again. What I mean is, I think sometimes they don't know why I struggle with trust issues. To me, it almost seems as if "I should just get over it".
I'm trying to gain the courage to try again; although, I must admit that it's taking me a very long time.
I keep picking the wrong people to trust.
#hides#

I'm not one to want to give anyone advice so take this just as my experience,
I felt like I couldn't tell no one my thoughts and situation but once I just started talking about it to a certain person that I thought May not judge and has possibly dealt with it in the past with someone else I threw it all out there and they didn't do much talking they just listened, but it just to happened to be my dad and the reason I felt I could open up to him is because he actually has been in this situation before with another family member.
Not saying try a close family member because it will work or anything but I think and hope that you will find someone your comfortable with to tell and I hope it makes you feel a bit better also.

I also know how you feel. Lost, confused and tired. Sometimes I just wish someone else could go in my head and just fix it all. And once they were done I would feel light and refreshed.

I tried talking.... But I must admit I fell flat. I've been sleeping for the past couple of weeks because I did not want to face the world...
I hardly spoke to anyone cz I did not want to sound like an idiot.
#blush# now u making me feel less stupid. Thank you so much for understanding.
I look like such an idiot to everyone for being like this - like I am less of a person. I try and remember that there's at least 3 people that I can think of at the top of my head, that love to bits. That helps a lot.

I am struggling so much. I wish it could end. And I hope one day it would. It's so hard - but there are at least 3 people in this world that think I am adorable
I am trying hard not to do something stupid.

But I must admit, I am typing out of desperation. I don't want to do anything stupid. At least I am trying not to.
I'm kinda desperate #hides# or maybe I am being melodramatic. There are times I don't feel so heavy laden though, so disheartened, and it feels like I can take just one more step without feeling like I'm going to faint out of fear.