I can't stop self-harming. Help/preventions

[Ih8Life]

I always tend to resort to self-harm to ground my self during an emotional meltdown, stressed or quite agitated. The main reason I self-harm is It temporarily keeps me calm then I'm just as stressed/anxious/depressed 10-15 minutes later.



I've tried a few suggestion/methods, but none hav workd.

[4EverMe]

Time to stop this.
I'm 41, and just realized at age 40 that it really does no bit of good. I realized that internally? I truly was rebelling because I felt I had no help or empathy.
Nowadays, I pray more...

[writeagain]

Find something to do with your hands when you become stressed. For me writing helped immensely. You can even draw on your skin as long as it's not too hard. When you feel that urge find another outlet. Stop whatever you were doing and let the moment pass. If you can go to another room and start a new activity to take your mind off your stress. You'll find that when you do go back you'll be much more calm.

Also, GET RID OF ALL SHARP OBJECTS IN YOUR ROOM. Yeah I know it sounds stupid but it's a simple solution. If you don't have the tool to harm yourself you probably won't do it because getting it from wherever you put will require you to really think about what you are about to dan and probably abandon that desire.

Hope that was helpful!
Stay strong!

[4EverMe]

That's good advice. Perhaps, finding an 'accountability partner' would also help- someone you can call or talk to in person until the urge passes.
And, maybe they can hold onto your personally most sought after tools you possess. (the ones you typically want to use when those moments arise)

Secondly, I just want to say that it's not even worth it. Injuring yourself only compounds to the issues that make yourself want to cut in the first place.
There are other options and it's not too late to seek them out.

Take care of yourself...

[Unity]

i agree with keeping your hands busy but for me my mind was too chaotic to write and I needed something more tactile. I found modeling clay helpful. It's like Play-Doh for adults and doesn't smell. You can find it in small quantities and all different colors at craft stores. It stays moist even when left out, lasts forever. You can be as rough or delicate with it as you want.

There are also very detailed, realistic coloring books of animals, cars, etc. and mandala books available that require concentration (so you can't be thinking of much else) but don't require higher level thinking (you can be emotionally scattered) if that makes sense. Sometimes these worked to keep me involved in something until the urges passed.

Eventually though I was able to recognize when I was heading towards wanting to self-harm earlier and earlier so that i wouldn't get to that point where I felt like I had no option but to engage. Do you know HALT? "They" say to never let yourself get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. That way you're at your best and able to handle difficult thoughts, feelings and/or actions (of ourself or others) when they come up in the healthiest way possible. I know I'm grumpy and ill-equipped for life's ups and downs when any of the HALT things are going on.

Hope this helps. If you have some extra cash I'd find a Ben Franklin or similar store and just wander until something you can get lost in strikes your fancy. If not there's always nature, check out what Andy Goldsworthy can do with sticks and leaves.

[specter]

. . . My self-harming comes from self-hatred. It would be easy to say "I need to find ways to cope and stop doing it and 'get over it', but it doesn't work that way." See, if someone hates themselves, then they feel they are entitled to suffer/be in pain/hurt themselves. This serves the purpose of severe self-punishment. Why? This is often because these types of people -- speaking about myself, really -- grew up thinking that the only way they can do or be or feel anything and have it be "OK" is if they were in physical and emotional pain.

Oh, by the way, I did tell my therapist. Two things she usually does. One, she either suggests that I try grounding/coping techniques -- these don't work!! s/m/h -- or she acts sad for me and then we just keep talking about my feelings or change the topic. Not so helpful.

Not to be too graphic, but I got some deep purple ones setting in. Some old yellow ones are slowly starting to fade. I stick mostly to bruising. Years ago, it was using sharp stuff, but I strongly dislike the idea of gangrene. . . . *shrugs*

It's unhealthy to self-harm . . . blah, blah, blah . . . but a part of me doesn't want to stop. This part of me realizes that I'm an awful person. It isn't because I choose to be an awful person, but because this is how I was raised, this is all I know, I'm a loner and a shut-in, and I am struggling to escape from the narcissistic, abusive people who turned me into who I am today. There is and never was anyone else to showcase a healthy, positive way of being. This is all I know. And it's ugly. And I'm ugly.

Please, please, please don't tell me to "just stop it" or "try this" or "try that". Read above. My first paragraph should explain why.

I need something a lot "better", so to speak, than trying to force myself to not react to something that I have been deeply ingrained to believe will somehow make me a better, worthwhile person.

Thanks for reading.