Writing - The Only Thing Helping Me At The Minute

[mattyj]

the only way i seem to be able to get through each day at the minute is writing

This is weird because I have never enjoyed writing before - I am a scientist, so most of what i write is technical report type stuff

What im writing is hard to describe - its sort of a mix of diary entries and letters to my wife and kids because i cant speak with them at the minute

I dont know if i ever get the chance down the road, if I would show this stuff to them or not

anyways here are a few things i have written so far

BEAUTIFUL TARA 15/12/13

The most beautiful eyes

The cutest smile

The sweetest person alive

The mother of my 3 beautiful kids

The look in your eyes...I will never forget the look in your eyes when I said those horrible things to you...

I will never forgive myself for what I said...If I ever get the chance I will spend the rest of life trying to make it up to you

YOU THREW IT ALL AWAY 16/12/13

You had it all
And you threw it all away

You had the love of a beautiful woman
And you threw it all away

You had 3 wonderful kids
And you threw it all away

You had a home with your family
And you threw it all away

Why did you throw it away?
Because you were too proud to seek help, when people were telling you that you needed it

You threw it all away

FRAZER 16/12/13

The day you were born
Was the day I went from a boy to a man

You mean everything to me

Everything I do is for you and the girls

Every night shift I had to work
Was for you

Every crappy job I've had
Was for you

Now I cant see you
But when I close my eyes I keep seeing you defending yourself after I said those horrible things....I wish I never did

All I want is to have us back together as a family

YOUR CHEEKY SMILE 17/12/13

I lie here and look up at the photo of you

That cheeky smile that always made me smile, how makes me cry

That cheeky smile that always made me smile, I may never see again

My special Brooky who I love so much

My special Brooky who I miss so dearly

[CrazyLady17]

(((Hugs)))

[Frame]

Writing, and for that matter drawing, painting, cooking, hiking, can clarify our mind a bit by clearing out some of the chaos. And it let's us look from a bit of a distance (of the page, the canvas, the stock pot, or vista) at the chaos within.

[mattyj]

another piece i wrote this morning...

I LOVE YOU 25/12/13

To my dearest Tara

The woman I love

I wish I could take back every horrible thing I ever said to you

I wish I had another chance to show you what you mean to me

I wish I had one more chance to look into your eyes and say “I LOVE YOU”

But I've lost that chance

I hope for nothing but happiness for you

You deserve better than me

And from the bottom of my heart

I do & always will love you