I feel arf (yuck)

[karolanne]

Hi everyone,

I don't know what's up with me. I did a wonderful dream. When my alarm rang this morning, I snoozed to keep going with my dream (yeah, I can do that! lol). Then, I had to wake up to go to work. I was happy because of the dream, my dogs were funny as usual, everything was good.

I went to the gym and it went very well. I didn't see the guy I think is cute, but it's a good thing since I have acne because I ate junk for few weeks. But anyway, the guy never look at me. He is always looking a girl I know who is very in shape, slim and everything. So, I have no chances with that guy. lol But when I left the gym, I was still happy.

Then, around 9h00, I began to feel bad. I feel hopeless, I feel arf, yuck, just want to go back to bed with my dogs. What the hell?? I was happy!! And poof, black magic, I'm sad. It appears to be a mood swing and it makes me hate life. yuck yuck

I just needed to share.

Take care everyone.

[karolanne]

Oh boy, things get worse. It's 14:15 and now, I feel suicidal. yuck yuck yuck This is a day that started well and switched to a yucky day for no reason. yuck yuck yuck

[4EverMe]

Hi karolanne,
I'm sorry your day took a turn for the worse.
Maybe tonight, you'll have a good dream about the guy you mentioned.

[Patrick]

I know what your saying! I had a better day today (though not great) and then all of the sudden it feels like the bottom drops out. I don't have a diffinative answer for you but just know that your not alone and it really stinks! Sweat dreams tonight and I hope you have a better day tomorrow.

[karolanne]

Thanks 4EverMe and Patrick for your support.

Last night, I did a bad dream. I was disfigured and people around me was making fun of me and was telling me how ugly I was. So, this morning, I woke up and felt yuck again.

I went on the scale and took pounds even if I followed my diete for the last 7 days. yuck again

I went to the gym and I did a good training.

I'm at work right now and I just want that everything stop, that my mind stop running. In fact, what's really bothering me is my rent, to have to find someone to take my rent, have lots of visitors and they are not always respectful.

Take care everyone.

[Frame]

I sure understand about your rent Karolanne. If it helps to have company, I'm soon to be two month behind on my home mortgage and a month behind on my business rent. I wish I knew where all this life was going. There seems to be so much of so little.

[karolanne]

Hi Frame,

It kills me to have issue to pay my rent, but it kills me more to have to get visitors.

I have 2 kinds of visitors because I putted 2 adds. One for a roommate and another one for someone to take the rent.

Half of people doesn't show up at their appointement and don't call to cancel. So, I wait for nothing.

Some people show up and open every door, look everywhere. I find that hard but I know they have to do that.

Some poeople that come for the room are very weird. One guy said that he doesn't take the room because I'm not cute enough! That's why I did my last dream I guess. lol

I'm sorry that you have money issues too. Lot of people have that kind of issues, we're not alone. But it sucks. I wish we can live in a world based on equality...

Take care.

[karolanne]

Geez, I add a reply to myself.

It's 1:20 pm and I feel so bad. It's painful inside. I try to identify the feeling, but I can't. I just want to cry, but I don't see why.

yuck yuck

[Frame]

I have to say, Thank you Karolanne, for replying to yourself. It helps me feel entitled to complain: because today I feel just like you. I have this unnamed terror inside. I can't focus. I can't think. I can't get started or keep going.

Let's face it though; the terror does have a name. It has lot's of names, so many things I'm finding impossible to ignore, but impossible to face either because they seem to have no solution. They're all merging into a grey cloud (or maybe better put, a "black dog").

[karolanne]

Hi Frame,

I hope you feel better today.

I like the grey cloud allusion.

Take care.