I'm 28. Had a hard life..finished college late. Only have a bachelor's degree in speech pathology. Need a masters to be employed as a speech pathologist. I work in a lab where I can't stand a co worker even though we worked things out..she's younger and immature. I'm starting to have chest pains. However, I need benefits so I can see a doctor and get help soon with my depression and anxiety. I just want to stay home, drink coffee in the morning, watch the news or talk shows with my kitten where I am safe and I don't have to get anxiety about how bad I think the day is going to be. I want to do laundry because for some reason, it brings me peace, maybe because of the way it makes the room smell so good with the scented stuff I use.
Anyway, all I want to do is watch tv, go online and periodically when I am inspired,...write. I know this is not life though but I know I have no future anyway so I may as well sit at home like I'm 70 and retired. I'm tired of all the rude people in my life and I've cut out talking to most of my family. I don't know even if I want help, I just want God to end my life soon, like before I'm 40. My family's retarded and selfish, not to mention dysfunctional. Or did I mention that when I referred to them as retarded?
They all contributed to ruining my life and youth in some way. I have limited choices in my life now and I don't even know why I bother giving people the time of day anymore. I also don't want to work because I have a phobia the girl I hate might spit in my drink or food when I'm not looking, so I don't eat while I'm there, and it makes me feel faint by the time I get home.
