Just some of what is on my mind lately...

[benk]

In the chat tonight I discussed with a few other members about some relationship issues I am having. This is just a pretty basic overview of the situation. I guess I am posting this to vent a little, and see if anyone else has any other advice or thoughts on the situation.

I am not sure where to start, so I guess I will start with how we met. I am involved in the car scene here where I live (afterall it is the “motor city). I first met her a few years ago, just talked and whatnot, never really hung out with her or anything, just talked occasionally when we ran into each other. We have a ton of mutual friends. So last November I ran into her again, she was having a party at her place and invited me. At this point she had broke up with her boyfriend about a month before. So I show up to the party, do the usual stuff and whatnot. Well me and her are in the kitchen, and she sprays me with water from the sink, so I grab it and spray her back. Next thing I know we are both soaking wet, and somehow made it to the living room where we are now wrestling. At this point it is about 4 am and most everyone had left. So we continue wrestling for a while, and then it leads to making out. So we end up passing out together on the couch and end up cuddling through the night. We started hanging out weekly from there. I normally ended up staying at her place in bed with her for the night. We talk daily either through texting or email (neither of us are a big fan of talking on the phone) for a couple hours a day. So I finally work up the courage to ask her out a little before Christmas time and she accepts. It seems like everything has been downhill from there, we don’t talk like we used to, I feel as if I have to initiate everything, and it makes me feel like I am overbearing and pushing too hard. We haven’t been able to go out yet, just cause I am sooo broke and don’t even have the money for gas to drive to her place (lives about 55 miles away). I am hoping soon I can afford to take her out. She is having a party next weekend that she invited me too, so I guess we will see how things go then. I just wish she would just be more responsive though, it feels like I am the only one that wants a relationship and she doesn’t want anything back. That’s the basics of everything.

[shmuel]

Hi benk.. I lost a few words with you in the chat the other day
This sounds like a fun affair. (no pun)
She just broke up and it seems she needs some company...thats no negative.
If you guys have been chatting for hours then there must be some common ground between.I can`t see any relationship between you asking her out and the downhill run.
The feeling of having to initiate everything.. that all depends on how much feedback you expect.Some people need a leader in a relationship..especially at the beginning.
The most important thing is to be open... if you are unsure about what she wants .. then ask.
Ok I know thats a cliche... but believe me.
Don`t sit there alone at home and wonder why ... look the girl in eyes and tell her what you are feeling.
These are just a few thoughts of mine on your situation.

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

Hi benk and shmuel

Agree with all shmuel said. Just getting out of a relationship, maybe she isn't ready to jump into another. Time to separate her yesterdays and get on with the todays.

Be a friend, be there for her and see where it leads. Even if it doesn't lead to a relationship of one sort, you will have the friendship, cherish that.

Believe what is meant to be, will be.

Take care and hopefully will talk with both of you in chat room.

Warmie/Jeanie