Depression Understood Forums

Maybe this is the wrong part of the forum to post this, I am new here though so please feel free to move it if it is in the wrong place.

I'm finding it difficult to start caring about my life again. As a general rule I have to fight to care.. thats just the way it is.. but it is getting harder.

But part of me desperately wants to get back into life. I am self isolating again too which bothers me.

I know I need to try things like regular exercise and eating properly but the motivation to do these things is so low.. even though I know it is part of the way out.

There are no support groups in my city and I feel quite alone, so it is up to me to find the motivation to get back into life again..

Just sharing this here as I figure others who have struggled with depression will understand part of this.

Flower

hey flower

i know how you feel. i struggle to get motivated to just get dressed alot of days. i think it gets easier once youve gotten into a routine. i dont really have any good ideas on this, cos i dont know how to get myself motivated either
... lets just sit in a heap in the "no-motivation" corner.... if we can be motivated to get there

jj

I can so relate. I have basically given up and am barely existing, wishing for death to end my pain. The only thing I can tell you is, at one time there were things I cared about and they gave me motivation to keep going and help myself. Is there anything at all for which you have a passion or a person you love who loves you? Sorry don't have much advice to give, in similar boat myself.

Hi Flower, this is a very supportive place. You'll find the understanding you need here.

hollyann

It can be difficult to get started with activities again but, I find that once I can get started I get so absorbed in them I forget about my depression. We all want to get better. There's just a part of us that doesn't want to leave what we're used to. Depression becomes the norm and to do anything else feels uncomfortable.

Its hard to deal with these emotions in a depressed state so we must first lift ourselves out of said state. For me, if i can force myself to keep busy with a book or something that requires a lot of concentration I can kind of reset my mood and deal with the problems more accordingly.

Buy a potted plant and keep it outside so you at least have to get up and moving lest you let it wither.

Hi (((( Flower ))))!
I can very much understand how you feel. I'm all-too-often very much the President of the Official South Wales " What's The Point Society? " myself...I'm afraid it seems to be a quite common symptom of depression.
Still, (((( jj )))) had a good suggestion about routine. Something that worked for me in the past is to have a little notebook, and plan a few things that you're going to do in the next couple of days. You don't have to go into too much detail, and certainly don't get " hung up " about doing everything on your list. I just found having some sort of plan or " framework " for the day ahead helpful. ( Eg. One of my lists might have something like: 11:00 AM, E4, watch Veronica Mars: go to cafe for lunch: return books to library: 9:00 PM, BBC1 watch Torchwood Children of Earth. And when you do something, cross it off your list. I did that and it did feel that I was at least gaining a small amount of momentum in moving myself forwards. )
I'm a HUGE SF, US TV geek so I tend to " encourage " myself by following/anticipating my favourite TV/book stories. I gives me something to look forward to and, to a certain extent, plan my future around. ( If that sounds weird...Well, it works for me... ) Eg: At the moment I'm watching Smallville season 10 on Tuesdays at 9:00 PM on E4, Torchwood:Miracle Day on Thursdays at 9:00 PM on BBC 1 and Castle on Fridays at 9:00 PM on Channel 5...(((( shatteredhopes )))) made a good suggestion, perhaps you could try focussing on something that is particularly meaningful to you that could help you help yourself. For me, it was things like SF, US TV, history etc...But, for you it might be different things. ( I'm so sorry that you're still feeling in such a bleak place (((( shatteredhopes )))), for whatever it may be worth, you have my best wishes, and I'm sure I'm not the only one here who feels that way! )
Another thing that helped me was to work at avoiding self-isolating as much as I could. I find that while a tendency towards self-isolating is a part of my depression/anxiety, self-isolating tends to worsen my depression further. Something that helps me is to go someone where I can just chill, where there are no " expectations " of me, but where I can be with other people in a non-stressful environment. Like going to a library, ( Where I am now ), or just sitting in a cafe or Starbucks having a drink and reading a book. Just somewhere where I can be with other people in a non-stressful environment.

Hi there,

It doesn't matter where you post really, as long as you do post!. So well done on getting going.

I say that depression is an extremely greedy illness. It wants everything we've got, all our attention and all our energy as well as many other things.

"Doing something" can sound simple and easy but when it comes to doing it, whatever it is, our depression stops us and we don't do it. It's too hard.

Tackling, above is on the right track I believe. Having some sort of daily schedule is the way to get started in doing things. If you can write up, say, a week, and put in a couple of things each day to do then you have a start. Like Tackling says though, don't get hung up on when you miss something, as you will.

It's a slow process and takes hard, dedicated work. We didn't get where we are overnight and we don't get out of it overnight. It takes time and vigilance, patience.

Like Tackling being the President of "What's the point", I used to be apathetic but now I just don't care any more.

You haven't said anything about docs or therapy. Have you tried that yet and if so what did you get from it?

I have a view that once we have had deep depression for a time it's like having the wool pulled from our eyes. We see and hear bad things everywhere. And now that I have stabilised and feel peaceful and with no fear and anxiety not on high I still see what people do to each other. How they try to hurt each other, how greedy people are, selfish. How politicians lie and cheat to get votes.

To me nothing will ever be unseen again but I can live with it as I know it's there and I do not need to be a part of those things. SO getting my life back is not an issue. I don't want it back as previously I just ignored all this corruption and pretended it wasn't there. It is, always and I won't, indeed can't close my eyes to it again.

My focus though is on me and not all of that rubbish. If I can help myself that's way more important than anything else. The rest does not matter.

I guess I'm suggesting you don't mark down your life as it was as your ideal. Refocus and maybe make a list of what you'd like to be and achieve. Aim small and do little things to get one thing at a time done, within yourself.

I may sound very cynical and indeed I always was, before and after. But I think today it's more realistic to acknowledge the corruption and fighting that goes on than pretend we all aspire to great things. Most people don't, they are petty and selfish, aim to be the opposite of that and you will feel so much better to begin with.

A bit from my soapbox there, forgive me. I too used to want to get back to whatever it was I was before. But, frankly, I no longer even know what that was so it doesn't matter to me. Surviving each day is my focus. No yesterdays and no tomorrows. You can make plans ahead and you have to sometimes, as in the program Tacking recommends, as do I too, but don't let your thoughts wander way out into the future as, if depressed, you'll predict disaster.

That's what I was doing when at my worst. I saw what I thought would happen and it ate me up, suicidal.

You know how much of that catastrophising I did came true? None actually. None. SO I learnt day by day and it works well.