Depression Understood Forums

Tryin to keep up with the positive self talk, but the negative thoughts and feelings are wearing me down. I feel like every time I do something somebody is let down by me, or mad at me. I'm tired of feeling like a failure! I just want to quit. I won't, but it's honestly a struggle every day.

I can SOOOOO identify with how you feel, (((( Crista5387 ))))!
The thought occurs to me though, that you may be in some ways be like me? In that I tend to notice, and feel, the times when " somebody is let down with me, or mad at me " far more than I notice the, ( Far more frequent and greater in number. ), times when I get things right, and people are genuinely appreciative of my efforts.
Also, if you're like me, you may be quite sensitive to the moods of the people around you, and the " social dynamic " of the group or workplace that you're in at the time.
For example, our office is being visited by a couple of high-ranking regional managers at the moment. One of our managers is MAJORLY stressed out by this, and is running around trying to get EVERYTHING, PERFECT, preferably by YESTERDAY! Her stressing over getting everything perfect, probably because she feels " under a microscope ", is making quite a few other feel rather harried. And, it's making me feel as if I'm working too slowly, which is weakening my self-esteem, so I actually lose confidence in what I'm doing, etc, etc...
Also, just another thought, positive affirmations are good and important. However, I do think that it's important not only to give yourself positive affirmation, but also to actively challenge your negative thoughts also.
Please realise the truth of your positive self-talk, but also focus on the fact that your negative thoughts are not as true as they can seem.
Please take care of yourself...!

Thank you. And I definitely do notice way more, and judge myself more harshly for the times I let people down. Especially when I'm already in a downward cycle. I'm trying to work on seeing things for what they are, and letting go of some guilt(I have a lot). I'll try the acknowledging and changing negative thoughts.

Hi
Positive affirmations may seem like a waste of time, but they really do work if u stick with them. Even something as simple as 'im a confident and positive person' whilst brushing your teeth in the morning can help. It does take time tho and you have to persist. For me negative thinking was natural, positive thoughts were so alien and it took some hard work to fix. I suggest starting by recognising your negative though, then thinking about what one of your positive friends or family would say in response, or imagining the totally opposite response. Changing thinking takes time but has amazing results if you stick at it. All the best x