one wish thats all

[carly450]

i thought my depression was going away, turns out it has come back and hit me hard.

what makes it worse is being pregnant with all these hormones as well as this stupid deppression.

for years now all i have ever wanted was just to be loved by someone, have someone there for me. But i have never had it. i would serioussly do anything in the world for it, but to be honest i dont think i will ever get it. maybe im not the sort to be loved.

i atcually feel physical pain in my chest, i just long for someone to care and be with me, not just for sex but because they love me.

fed up of being used, i have never been loved, not even by family and just wish just one person would.

my depression is getting worse and i know its not good for me or the bump, but i dont think it will ever go untill i find someone who really does care.

alot of people say yourll find somebody, to be honest that just pisses me off because i dont think i ever will, the thing is with me guys all my life have only ever wanted me for one thing hence one of the reasons i used to sell myself, because for an hour it atcually felt like someone cared even though they atucally didnt.

i can honestly say i really hate my life, oh how i wish there was no such thing as depression.

sorry to moan but i needed to get it out


feeling low, alone, and crappy

[Monty]

carly450,

I have suffered from depression for many years and I know how heartbroken I have been when, I am well, then the depression seems to hit me like a freight train.

Glad that you sat down at the computer and let us know how you feel.

I was fortunate that my depression didn't hit me hard until after my second child was born. I didn't want to have anything to do with the world.

I know that it might seem trite when you are feeling so well, but once you join the forum, you have found a groupful of friends who do care. I know that you can't see any of us but we are in your corner.

For me it also seemed like I was alone. Though I had a husband, children, parents for some reason I just was so afraid of really letting someone in my life. I felt like if they knew the real me, that they would walk.

You are certainly right that the hormones are probably making you system feel like it is in a blender. I am glad you decided to post and hope that you continue. Remember that your posts will always be read.