Damaged Beyond Repair

[Mich]

It really does help to know that there are others here that understand the suffering of depression. It is just so hard to explain to a non-sufferer and I don't think they understand the magnitude of the despair. I feel somewhat guilty and selfish talking about my own misery here...I know I am only one of many who suffer.
It is early morning here and the weight of the day is already upon me. I have a psych appointment today and I may ask him to admit me to hospital. I am feeling so out of control and impulsive that I believe I need to do it to protect myself. So if I disappear for awhile, that is where I have gone. I am hoping that I feel better by this afternoon and don't have to take this step because it is so disruptive to my family. I am tired of being such an invalid. It's best if I keep myself out amongst the functioning people.
I have slept in my clothes yet again and am still wearing them this morning. What my children must think...and my husband. I really need to drag myself upstairs and freshen up. Why is it so hard to do this?

[xn728]

(((((MICH ))))).OH MICH ,just do one thing even if you dont do them all ,,one thing will do ,,however small ,,,and when you have done that ,you will have taken a little something back ,,your family may be puzzeld now by this behaveour ,,but they will grow to understand ,,
you and your husband and children will laugh again soon mich ,,,
impossible that may sound ,but you will ,,,,take care mich ,,just take one thing back from your visitor today mich and you will wound it deeply
go ,i know you can do it ,,,,hugs (((((mich ))))),,,,ken xxx

[shatteredhopes]

(((((((((((Mich)))))))))) you know when we feel depression and self-loathing, not taking care of ourselves in basic ways like changing clothes and showering are typical ways of hurting ourselves...and sloth, lethargic feelings and depression go hand in hand, making the most basic tasks monumental...

I think you should put yourself first. If you need to go to the hospital, go, don't worry too much and feel guilty about disrupting your family as they will be less disrupted if they ultimately have a healthier you, and if going in the hospital can give you a little boost, by all means please don't let your husband stop you from getting the care you need...they have coped before and will again, and if hospitalization perks you a bit afterwards then they will be better off in the long run for you having gone...and you know you have to take care of yourself before you have much of anything to give to others.

I care about you my sister, my friend...thinking of you and wishing you light and peace in your day...

[crystalgaze]

I agree with s_hopes. Put yourself 1st! Ken has a very great request! Just 1 little thing from your visitor....

Thinking of you!

[xn728]

im thinking of you mich ,im sorry i can do no more to help you ,,just remember the candle it burns as i speak ,,the warrior stands fast ,,,and were all here for you ,,,hugs mich xxxxx

[xn728]

(((((mich ))))) the warrior is not back so i know your still under the shadow of darkness im thinking of you mich my dear freind ,,just because your absent does not mean your not in my thoughts ,,praying and wishing you feel better soon ,,hugs love ken xxxxx

[crystalgaze]

((((((( Michie )))))) !!!!!

((((((((((((((((((((((((((( Mich ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


That's my enthusiasm up there! Hope you don't mind the Michie! It was more of a "Michie!! Where are you? Are you ok?"

[TackingIntoTheWind]

Thinking of you. Think of yourself as someone of value, because you are!
Take care of yourself! Don't make me come over there and nag you! ( Canada's not a big place, is it? )

[xn728]

yes mich were are you as my dear freind onika says ,,i know you suffer so just take it easy and rest ,,were thinking of you my ,dear freind ,,just take care and join us soon ,,,hugs ken ,,,(((((mich ))))),,,,

[crystalgaze]

(((((((((( Mich )))))))))))))))))

[xn728]

dear mich i know your not well because the warrior has not returned ,,
please be strong my dear freind im thinking of you all the time ,,oh how you do suffer mich ,,let the warrior stay there ,,im ok at the moment my pain is physhical and i dont need him to help me with that ,,he will protect you from harm ,,,hugs love ken (((mich)))xxx dont forget the candle mich ,,see the light ,,,,,,,xxx

[xn728]

dear mich i hope your ok ,the forum has been quiet without you hope you feel better soon ,,hugs love ken xxx(((mich)))

[lisalou]

dear mich, really hope you are safe in the hospital or just having some quiet time to yourself and that you get back in contact when you feel able

[xn728]

hey (((((mich))))) im missing you a lot ,,please be safe my dear freind im sure your ok ,,the warrior will gaurd you ,,but you have to be strong to ,,im sure we,ll hear from you soon ,,,,lots of love hugs ken xxxxxx

[crystalgaze]

Michie!!! (((((((((((((((((((((((( Mich )))))))))))))))))))))))))

Just thinking of you!