A Bit of a Crash

[crystalgaze]

Thanks Ken! You're right! ((((((((((((((((( Ken ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Amazingly, the drink is not doing any thing for me any more, so I probably will have to give it up at this point.

It's probably some sort of escapism I'm doing any way.... (There must be a better way some place, just have to find it!)

[xn728]

(((((onika ))))) there is something out there for you i promise,,,you just have to keep looking ,my dear freind ,,please dont change anything about your self ,,you are fantantasic just the way you are ,,,,whatever it is that awaits you out there ,will have to accept you for what you are ,,
a loving caring person, hugs (((((onika ))))),,,ken xxxxx

[crystalgaze]

This time my crash was a sleep crash yesterday. I was talking to a friend & then zzz.... ~LOL~ Oh my word!

One moment I was up & the next I was gone.

I did go looking for a liquor store yesterday & it was pretty funny! My dad said there used to be so many & now there are so few! Aside from the grocery stores + KMart, there are only about a handful of retail liquor stores.

Of course, this is a good thing!

My dad actually went with me because when I was asking him about the location of things, he didn't know, so we went on an adventure to find where these places could possibly be. (Don't worry; my dad doesn't want me to drink either.)

It was interesting though; I found out that Christiansted (town) doesn't really have up any numbers. Only a few buildings have numbers on them, so it's actually hard to find stores....

It's pretty odd...

[xn728]

TAKE CARE ONIKA ill be working out how much gas ill need to drive there
if i hear you saying youve had a drink again ,,,ill box those bloody ears ,lol,,look after your self ,,all the years ive hurt my body ,,and it looks like its all coming back on me now ,,and its frightening let me tell you ,,your young (((((onika ))))),,look after your self ,,we care so much for you ,,,,hugs ken xxxxx

[crystalgaze]

Yes, I will take care! Just you make sure to do damage control!

I am beating it for a bit now with ~drum roll~ sparkling apple cider, white grape, grape, & apple pomegranate!

Apple pomegranate was pretty good! I must say! The drink was harmless this time! I haven't had a craving.... I'm so glad!

[xn728]

well done (((((onika ))))),,ken smiles wide,ly ,,,cider mmmmmmm,,i must admit i have a bottle of cider in the fridge ,,,,,,no,,no,, i must control myself ,,,,,,,take care my dear freind ,,,,hugs love ken xxxx

[crystalgaze]

~LOL~ I drank some apple cider this morning. Maybe soon I won't need the cider at all... This morning was a lil tough but my counter measure worked just fine! (It really would've been too early in the morning for the real stuff....)

[crystalgaze]

I am a little sad... I have been having chest pain for some time now. It's not every day.... But I have noticed this happening more in the last few months...

I have been trying to get going with things to move myself along in life...

Also, you know I'm not fond of doctors per se, so I really didn't want to have to go to another one so soon....

However, I may very well have to go....

I am not in the mood for a setback right now.... but I will do what's in my sig & "Roll with it!"

[xn728]

this could be stress ((((onika))))),,or something else ,,your young i know but that doesnt discount certain things ,,you have been a little off the wall lately ,,maybe its just that ,,but goe to the docs please ,,we must be careful ,,,,and you know we care ,,pains in the chest are not good and the sooner you get it looked at the better ,,now i also know you have a pain in in the arse ,,,but dont worry thats just me LOL,,,,,,, GOE TO THE DOCTORS ,,,,ANDS I MEAN IT !!!!!,,HUGS LOVE KEN XXXXX

[lisalou]

hiya onika, i've been having a lot of chest pains myself lately, sudden stabbing pains that make it really hurt to move or breathe too deeply for a while,i think in my case it's definitely stress, my chest muscles are really tense and my heartbeat goes a bit random but as ken says, def get it checked out if it's becoming a big concern

[crystalgaze]

You too Lisa? Wow....

It does feel like stress (but I do know I can't diagnose myself).....

I took Tylenol & it cleared it up immediately.... Maybe I will grab some aspirin to have on hand....

I dah know.... My mom says she suffers from chest pain too & the thing is she went to the doctor enough times & passed all the tests. Nothing was found to be wrong....

Perhaps, this is all the more incentive to work on my weight some more... Ah.... ~shrugs~ ???

[dandelion]

((((((((((((((( Crys )))))))))))))))))))

Just suddenly thinking about you friend, hope everything is well with you.

love
dandelion

[crystalgaze]

Thanks dande! (((((((((((((((( dande )))))))))))))))))))))))))))

The crash is here... It finally happened today for a bit. I even had S-thoughts, which I haven't had in some time. I thoroughly zoned out, almost like I wasn't really there. Where I went.... well, I don't know.

It was an instant mood swing; one moment I was happy (or so I thought) & the next moment I was watching S-thoughts roll by in my brain.

I wanted to cry but couldn't. There was only 1 tear out of my left eye & the S-thoughts. I am going to try to rest/lie down for a bit. (I guess...)

Edit: I was falling off the wagon with taking care of myself. I hadn't taken my vitamins + minerals in a while.... (although I know I should take them). I also haven't been eating in the mornings.... I guess this is reflective of how I have been feeling overall lately.

[crystalgaze]

That was SOME crash today.... Woo! I seem to be doing okay now, though!

[crystalgaze]

Having another crash.... The weather is not helping.... It's rainy, overcast & gray... dreary stuff...

What seems to be bothering me at the moment is coming more to light, I think.....

There were some water works.... I'm getting ready to give myself an early b-day present.... I should have done it a long time ago.