Alive but not kicking

[shatteredhopes]

(((((((Lisalou))))))) be proud that you got through it. Socializing is so hard when you are depressed....be proud of yourself and treat yourself to some R & R.

I am sorry you are having a bad day....my thoughts are with you and wishing you light and peace in your day...

[xn728]

another freind ,silent just now ,im walking with you ,whilst your in the dark ,see soon light soon my freind ,,,,,,ken

[Mich]

I give you a lot of credit for braving that party. It must have been really hard. I am sure your friend was happy that you came. I am right with you with the grey and hopeless feelings today. Were you able to get out today for some fresh air? If you worked today, I hope the kids brought a glimmer of joy to your life. It must be so special that they love you.

[lisalou]

thank you so much for your support ken, mich, shatteredhopes. I am still managing to get to work but it gets harder and harder. I used to stay out for a little bit afterwards sometimes and take a wlk through the park or go into town briefly but now i just want to run straight home and get under my blanket again. I have decided that i never want to go back to my job full-time again. I can barely cope with the little i do at the moment and even if i did get much better (a distant dream......) i wold just be returning to an environment that has contributed a lot to making me so ill in the first place. everyone is nice there but i still feel so lonely as no-one really understands. i should start getting ready to go now but i just can't face it. i hate the pretense i put on there and i wonder if anyone really appreciates how much effort it is taking to be barely functional. yesterday i felt so awful i was scared to home and feel those feelings all alone. I still feel like i am going to disappear and that i am nothing and that i want to destroy what little there is left of me. I have a stinking cold at the moment too which is dragging me down even further. My mental health assessment is tomorrow,i hope and pray they will point me towards something helpful. Last time i went years ago they said 'well we can see you're very depressed and not functioning...but there's nothing we can do for you.' Oh thank you so much.... I hope this time is more successful

[Mich]

I am so sorry to hear that your workplace is contributing to your illness. I thought it might give you a lift, but you are clearly suffering. I was at the same place in my workplace many years ago and I know how horrible that is. Perhaps at your assessment this week they will determine that you are unable to work and you will be able to take a break and get some benefits from the govt. Is that a possibility? I hate to think of you going some place every day that only contributes to your illness. Your probably at work by now....I wish for you the strength to get through it today and hang on tight until your assessment. My thoughts are with you always. *hugs*

[TackingIntoTheWind]

Best of luck with your assessment tomorrow. I hope that you find it of help. Please hang in there! ( I know that's a cliche, but I mean it in all seriousness! )