Struggling for hope

[xn728]

i never have the wish to live s/hopes,everyday is the same ,i dont like the daylight either,dark gives me comfort ,there all jolly,jolly at the shop it kills me ,truly hope you feel better soon ,,,,,,,,ken

[Mich]

Where are you shatteredhopes? I am worried.

[shatteredhopes]

I am here...just had bad physical pain day and was depressed to boot. Fantasizing about how that idea to elected official will work out, but probably setting myself up for big disappointment. Just trying to gear myself up enough just to attempt sharing it. So discouraged.

Phone rang and rang and rang and finally got out of bed to answer and was a friend who is always there for me, so glad I forced myself to answer. Mom invited me over for dinner, which was really nice, but I still just want to cry and curl up under the covers and sleep. Sleep is the only relief I get, and then sometimes I have bad or disturbing dreams.

I just don't know what to hope for and afraid to hope for fear another disappointment will be the final blow. I lost so much. I wanted so much for my life that never materialized. I've had a run of bad, bad luck. I just don't know how much more I can take.

[Monty]

I am having a lot of trouble with depression lately. Know what it is like to just want to stay in bed, and let the world go on without me for a while.

It is funny because the people that are closest to me, don't seem to catch on to the idea that I am depressed. Supposed that is part of my problem, I have done the hiding thing for such a long time, that when I really am in trouble I don't let anyone in.

I also am finding more and more solace in just staying in bed. So far I have managed to get up but it is getting later and later.

This morning I set my alarm on my cell phone. Finally got the the point that I just reach for it in it's case and squeezed until it stopped.

It was great to read that the person that phoned you was a friend. Too many times it seems like we make the supreme effort to get up and answer the phone, and it is a tele-marketer.

Sounds like you mom is really in your corner.
Remember that we are too.

Hang in there.

[Hanging On]

Shatteredhopes the physical pain is very much a part of what we go through. It can at times be very intense almost causing a panic attack for me anyway. I am so relieved that your friend was there for you when you needed someone to reach out to, that is so important.

I wish I could say that I got a little relief from sleep, but it is so infrequent with my unstable moods.

Take care and know that I am wishing special things to happen for you. Try to stay hopeful. I know at times it seems virtually impossible but do try.
Your not alone, remember you are never alone.

[Mich]

I am so happy you were able to connect with a friend. I hope you get relief from all the pain soon. I am so sorry you are suffering. I hope you were able to get to your mother's for dinner.