In a Big Bind

[vmlsjp]

I'm in love with someone who is 28 years older than I. I am so depressed over the thought of losing him because he is so much older than me. To make things worse I'm cheating on my boyfriend with his uncle whom I said is 28 years older. My relationship with my boyfriend should've ended a long time ago, because all of the abuse. But I'm afraid of being alone. My boyfriend's uncle, I want to have a relationship with, but it'd be to difficult for his side of the family to understand. They would lose all respect for him and I don't want that. He loves me and I love him, its crazy but this is what it is. Anxiety and depression has kicked in all at once. I don't know what to do.

[Waynec]

Its a tricky situation. But love is what love is. Im sorry you are in a abusive relationship, and have sort solace in your lover. Its never gonna be easy, but if its meant to be, you and the older man will find a way. What you have to remember is, you are living your life for you, no one else. If its what you both want, you guys should go for it, regardless of what everyone else thinks. What I would suggest is getting out of the current relationship before making your new one public. I wish you every success with this. Feel free to pm if you wish.
Wayne

[balcony]

HI Vmlsjp, I am sorry you are in such a stressful and sad situation. To me, both relationships are not wise. Abuse is non starter..no person should remain in an abusive relationship. One relationship should also end before another one is allowed to begin. The second relationship sounds like a refuge and comfort zone from the abuse of the first. I would not be so quick to call that love. 28 years is a very difficult age to deal with. I hope you might consider getting some counseling before you get to involved in this relationship. You need time to heal from the abusive relationship and understand yourself a bit better.
Many hugs and take care

[Lisa]

Hi vmlsjp, I do agree that the best thing to do is to end the first relationship with your current boyfriend and it is only then that your true feelings for the uncle can be confirmed. Being alone isn't easy, I agree, but you're in a situation that isn't healthy for all parties involved and is more than likely putting excessive emotional strain on you. You need to gather the strength and leave that abusive relationship before you can move on. Uncle or no uncle, an abusive relationship is doing you no favours now or in the future.

All the best, Lisa