Is there Something Wrong with me?

[ogz]

I know im not the most interesting person on the planet, i know i have to deal with this depression and thats why we are all here to help each other.
But i sometimes think Is it the Depression that causes me to feel bad about things even about myself. there are times where i wonder if im being to hard on myself and over thinking things causes me to feel bad so low in fact i dont understand why i feel so down. I know part of it its my Depression but sometimes when i am in a good mood it feels like there has to be something wrong with me because i'm feeling like this even when i'm on a high? confused.com. is there anyone else who feels that or is it just me?

Rachel

[dustinthewind]

Are you asking about feeling good for moment when you are mostly feeling down? Or are you feeling out of sorts when you feel good because it is a break in the pattern? Sorry to be so dense--not in a great place to think clearly from myself.

[_js_sj_]

Sorry Rachel, I don't quite understand either!

Do you mean the feeling that even when your happy that there is always depression in the back of your mind which almost takes the edge off? Like, even though you're in a good mood, that there is a part of you that is still depressed?

If so, yeah I feel like that as well. Like I'm never truly happy.

It's natural for us to be too hard on ourselves, and a lot of the time that is part of the problem.. I guess learning to give ourselves a break every now and again - realising that we're only human - would be incredibly beneficial. Then maybe we'd feel like we deserved to be happy every now and again, and actually enjoy it, rather than worry it'll soon be over.

[JulesK]

I know part of it its my Depression but sometimes when i am in a good mood it feels like there has to be something wrong with me because i'm feeling like this even when i'm on a high? confused.com. is there anyone else who feels that or is it just me?

Yes. That's depression. The professionals call it adhedonia, which is Latin for "You can't feel happy, even if someone holds a parade in your honor and gives you a pony and ice cream."

I have this thing where I get nervous and unhappy BECAUSE I feel happy. Something bad is bound to happen if I'm not miserable at all times: I got commended for a project at work; I'm going to get fired! My husband said I'm beautiful; he thinks I'm ugly and is going to leave me! Someone smiles at me on the street? I check to make sure my zipper is up and I don't have something hanging out of my nose. Ugg.

Even when I know it is caused by depression, it still gets to me. But knowing it is is depression (not reality) helps me laugh at it, sometimes.