bi-polar and pregnant

[Jeanne]

My 19 year old son has a 17 year old girlfriend who is three months pregnant. She is bi-polar and is off her meds due to the pregnancy. She is a very pretty girl who is very self conscious about her looks. My son insisted that she stop talking to her friends, who just happen to all be former boyfriends. She stays at home all day. He is working 8-10 hours a day at a christmas tree farm. She is definately depressed. She will cry and have no idea what's she's crying about. All she wants to do is go out to restaurants. That's getting pretty expensive for his budget. He is trying to get her to go out and DO something again, walk by the river, a party at his friend's house. She declines everything. She wants new friends but doesn't want to meet people. They argue every day. They used to have a lot of good times together. My son is at his wits end. How should he handle this situation? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance.

Peace,

Jeanne

[Obayan]

It's going to be very hard without her meds. My heart goes out to you and your son and daughter in law. You can't negotiate with the situation, nor can you force her. It'll make things worse. Right now, she's not getting what she needs from the meds, so she has to get it from the two of you. That means a lot of patience and understanding and forgiveness. Try to see the bi-polar (BP) as a seperate entity. BP will say things and do things that you won't like. But that's not her. That's the BP. Living with someone affected by BP and not on their meds can put a huge strain on everyone. Add in that she's pregnant and it's almost unbearable. But it's like that for her too. Even more so because she feels she's trapped inside a body that hates her and wants to hurt her. And it's her body. If she wants to eat out, tell her ok, she can eat out at McDonald's and eat inside and can watch the kids playing in the play area, but she has to do something nice for someone first. Your son, or you, or even herself. It could be a kind word. Or a hug. Or fixing up her hair. But it has to have meaning, not just put on so she can have dinner out. She'll resist, and it'll get hard, but it'll get easier too. And soon you won't have to tell her to be nice and show affection. She'll find that inside herself again. I really do hope this helps you.

[Jeanne]

Thank you so much. I will pass this on to my son. Peace. Jeanne

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

((((((((((((( Jeanne )))))))))))))))

My thoughts are with you and your son. Pregnant and bi-polar, not always a winning combination. With the support you give and your son, the understanding, maybe this will make her see things differently. Perhaps your son can have a talk with her doctor? Or her parents? Just a thought.

Warmie