Just what is the point

[Monty]

Hi everyone,

Things have not been going very well for me lately.
It seems that the depression is pushing me down, about as far as I can go, these days.

Most days I really can't see much of a reason to get out of bed in the morning. I have missed appointments with counsellors (something I haven't done in all of the years that I have been in therapy).

Find that I am often asking myself the question "Just what is the point in all of this".

I know that a good part of the problem is that my elderly mother (who I live with) is failing quite rapidly and won't take any of the suggestions that professionals make, to have her life safer. My brother and I are just trying to make it possible for her to stay at home, but it is getting to the point that when I leave the house, I am not sure what I am going to find when I get home.

I am sure that it is not helping that two friends that I depend on a lot just to be able to unload to, are out of the country for a bit.

Have responded to some other posts this morning and I can't keep my eyes open any longer.

Will have to sign off for now.

[shatteredhopes]

((((((((((Monty)))))))))) I told you before how my mom deteriorated so dramatically when my father was still at home in the later stages of his disease...putting him in a home was one of the most painful things you can imagine and she had to go on anti-depressants due to the guilt and sorrow, but her health re-bounded and today she is doing as well as can be expected...

I am sure your caretaking and heroic efforts to keep your mom in her home, while laudable, are making your depression worse and worse. It takes a dramatic toll...at some point I hope you can figure out a way to put yourself first...it will be impossible to take care of your mom if the depression gets too bad...I don't know what your options are and empathize with the difficulty of the situation. I am so sorry I cannot be of any help, just let you know I care, I empathize, and hope you can figure out a way to extract yourself from the full-time caretaking role...

Sorry, too, friends you count on are away, that makes it especially frustrating I imagine. But please keep posting here, as your friends here care and want to be here for you what little we can...

Wishing you light and peace in your day...

[Misty]

((((Monty))))

You seem to be at the "overwhelmed" point. Trying to deal with your well-being and having to care for another that is in need is a bit too much. You seem to be a caregiver at heart and caregivers have a great risk for their own health.

Is there any way you can get outside assistance for your mother? I mean, like a visiting nurse on a temporary basis? You need to keep up with your therapy especially now. Hey, can your therapist have a session over the phone just in case you can't make an appointment? Just wondering.

Please take care and my thoughts are with you,
Misty

[Monty]

Thanks Misty and shattered for your kind words.

I can't tell you how much it means to me to know that I don't have to face this completely on my own.

I do have my forum family that I can lean on.

Mom has her home care worker here this afternoon. She is really in a tizzy and telling Sharon things that aren't true.

Making me out to be an evil person that is trying to sabatoge her life.

I can only do this for so long.

Or else there won't be anything left of me anymore. I refuse to do ECT again, even though I know that the depression is getting that deep.

Thanks again for the support

[xn728]

((((((monty))))))) were always here for you my dear freind ,,i know even when we have our freinds we can still feel very much alone ,,just remember in these dark times ,i always think of you ,,sometimes i cant type all the time ,,but im always with you and all my other freinds ,,,
as you walk this road monty turn around ,,and you will see us your freinds ,walking with you ,,,hugs (((((monty))))),,lots of love ken xxx

[Misty]

Hi Monty,

Sorry, I didn't know you already had a nurse come by. Does it help? Mom's can be very irrate with their daughters can't they. Has she always been this way or is it her age?

You are doing more for a parent than most would, but again, you will burn out in time unless something else can be done. Does your therapist have any suggestions? It is so hard to care for someone but that is also true for all relationships.

You need a break my dear, seriously. And our family here will always be here for you.

Get some rest,
Misty

[crystalgaze]

Hey Monty....! (((((((((((((((((((( Monty ))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I think everyone thus far has covered the bases. Just a hug to you & a note to let you know I am thinking of you.

[Monty]

Thanks to everyone for their support.

I think that I have just gotten to the point, that I can't do much more.
No more arguements with her over home care coming in. She has to have the care, because I need to have the rest.

I am concerned that I am dropping connections with people. I am starting to hear voices again, and having the racing thoughts so sleep is proving to be elusive.

Went to gp today. Increased sleep meds. Maybe that will help. Will try the stronger dose tonight. Will post tomorrow on how it turned out.

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

((((((((((((((((( Monty ))))))))))))))))))))))

Hope you did manage sleep.....thoughts with you

Warmie

[xn728]

((((((((((monty)))))))))) its been a while now ,and your very quiet ,,knowing your life is very busy ,im not to worried ,but know your silence marks your absence ,,and im missing you on here ,,selfish i know ,
you take it easy and dont let things get on top of you ,,im always with you ,stood at your side ,,you know you can always talk to me ,,,hugs for
now my dear freind (((((hugs monty))))),,,love ken xxx