bad day

[smh]

hey, i've been feeling really low since i got home from work today. this is gona sound completely pathetic but i just finished watching this dvd series i was watching and got really into, it was something to look forward to, after college and work and to fill those hours in the evening where the dread and bad feeling just washes over me and everything is bad again. i hate that i feel this way and i had all these ideas the other day about doing better in college this week, trying to go to all my classes and maybe do some work but i just don't knnow if i can now. right now i feel like getting under the covers and staying theere for the next few days. but thats stupid too. i was saying something similar to my friend the other day about how sometimes u just wish u could hide away from the room and she made the point that i wouldn't even like that, i'd want company. i would feel lonely doing that. its just that sometimes, well most of the time, company and just being out in society takes so much effort i'm so up and dwn, the way i'm feeling one day, i'm not feeling the next or maybe its morning and evenning. i'm just so confused and i would really love someone to tell me what to do. i need guidance and direction, for someone to take the reigns and show me which way to go and what to do next, cuz i see nothing but blank spaces ahead when i think of my future. ugh i think i may feel a little bit better just writing this out. maybe i should do it more often.

[shatteredhopes]

*hugs* I go through that too, days and times where I just want to hide under the covers and not be around anyone. I used to be very social and now it seems I can't stand to be around or trust hardly anyone. And I for one can COMPLETELY understand how something like finishing the DVD series can be a let down...small things can be huge for us and when we don't have them anymore, it bites!

You are in school so you DO have a future it just feels like you don't because you are consumed with the darkness of depression right now. I know that feeling too, where the moment is so painful, that's all you can see, like we have blinders on because it is so hard to cope in the here and now...but try, when you are having a better day, to take some time to just dream and fantasize a little about what you might want to do with your life, goals you might want to set, something in the future to shoot for, or think about what you might be passionate about...then write it out for when you are having bad days to look at...

My other suggestion? It sounds trival but find little things you can enjoy and do every day or often. Silly, but I enjoy hot chocolate in winter and hot bubble baths...it comforts me often just to have those two little things to do for myself. On better days, I can read for pleasure or learning, exercise, cook something special, whatever...artwork, journaling, gourmet coffee or chocolate, uplifting music, long hot showers with special good smelling shower gel, any little things you enjoy to treat, nurture yourself a little...if you're like me sometimes even those aren't enjoyable, but even on some of the worst days, something small that is comforting and somewhat pleasurable helps me COPE.

I, too, feel better after writing things out and sharing on here, as I have found most understand, support, can relate, and often have useful or helpful suggestions. So keep posting! We are here for you and listening!

Wishing you light and peace in your day...

[crystalgaze]

S-hopes has already said it.

If you find you like writing or it helps you, DO IT! If you don't want to do it here, then maybe a log?

Take care & don't give up just yet. You can do it!