Hi everyone,
I am new to the website as of today. i found it on google trying to find someone that would understand how i hurt. On the ourside people think im fine, happy, and lucky. On the inside im falling apart more and more everyday. I have a boyfriend, a job, caring family and friends yet i am so alone. My and the boyfriend fight alot becuase he doesnt understand anymore. Im stressed about money everday, and at work i just cant concentrate hence I am on this site and not working. I dotn want to get fired i cant afford to. I have my ups and downs and lately its been down. Im scared to get excited about anything. My boyfriend is tired of my lack of motivation. he says go look for a part time job , work out, dont just sit there and cry everyday. He just doesnt get it. I need to talk to people who understand. Im on lexapro so i guess it helps, id be worse without. I cant afford therapy at all. I also cant go on like this. Its gotten to teh point where i wish i was no longer alive. Take this with a grain of salt becuase i also know there is not way i could ever kill myself. ever. but i feel like i dont want to be here at the time time.
i just dont know what to do and im looking forward to chatting with you all.
THANK YOU FOR READING
New to the Website and depressed like everyone else here
Moderators: windsong, BlueGobi, Moderators, Astrid, Sunlily92
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crystalgaze
- Posts: 2511
- Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2009 10:11 pm
- Location: USA
Hello there Kal! Welcome to the forum.
Okay: I have a thought.... Maybe 1 of the 1st things I would do if I were you is to see whether you can get your bf to be more supportive of you.
You tell him you have been checking around on how you can get help. You explain to him that with what it is you would like to try to do, you need him to be supportive--to be encouraging & to help you have an environment you can work on yourself (meaning no tearing you down, no remarks like that part about the don't just sit there & cry all day).
To clarify, it just helps if you don't have to fight with your bf AND battle your problems too at the same time. Instead of him telling you to go to the gym, can you not both do it together??? Or find less costly alternatives? Can you both walk/run/bike around the block or something?
??? Now for you, what is it that you would like to do, to try to work on?
Figure out what your goals are & then next comes is a way to get there. One thing at a time, though & you just do your best! That's all any one can expect (& if your bf can't handle that, then you know what to do with him).
You've taken a step in the right direction!
Okay: I have a thought.... Maybe 1 of the 1st things I would do if I were you is to see whether you can get your bf to be more supportive of you.
You tell him you have been checking around on how you can get help. You explain to him that with what it is you would like to try to do, you need him to be supportive--to be encouraging & to help you have an environment you can work on yourself (meaning no tearing you down, no remarks like that part about the don't just sit there & cry all day).
To clarify, it just helps if you don't have to fight with your bf AND battle your problems too at the same time. Instead of him telling you to go to the gym, can you not both do it together??? Or find less costly alternatives? Can you both walk/run/bike around the block or something?
??? Now for you, what is it that you would like to do, to try to work on?
Figure out what your goals are & then next comes is a way to get there. One thing at a time, though & you just do your best! That's all any one can expect (& if your bf can't handle that, then you know what to do with him).
You've taken a step in the right direction!
WELCOME HOME
hi kal ,,im glad you found this place ,it really is a kind and loving forum here we all carry our pain ,,and we do understand how your feeling ,,probably more than you a little ive been like this for 43 years ,,sorry you may not want to have heard that but ive been a naughty boy and i deserve my punishment ,,,,you will soon have many freinds here and they will try and support you as best we can ,,feel free to talk about yourself more when your ready ,and have a read of some of our posts you will get to know us better ,,i hope you find what your looking for ,,,this is a long road we travel ,and we will catch your fall should you stumble ,,,welcome home kal,,,hugs xn728xxx
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shatteredhopes
- Posts: 664
- Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2009 1:39 am
- Location: U.S.
Welcome to the forum...Its a common complaint that others close to us don't understand...unless someone has experienced severe depression, they really can't and from the outside to them it looks like self-pity or sloth, not comprehending how some things are just impossible for us when severely depressed...my ex-boyfriend suffered depression too and I always tried to support and encourage him, yet he was critical of me and judgemental when I was depressed! Go figure!
If you can't get reduced fee therapy from community mental health services if in the USA, maybe like me you will find peer support on this site of great benefit. Another thing, maybe consider supplementing your anti-depressant with another or changing dosage or changing meds? Sometimes when we are on something a long time it stops working as much because our bodies become acclimated so to speak...it may be something to talk with your doc about next time you go. But, I know for me, the anti-depressant only helps a bit, doesn't really address the problem...I have depression that has been treatment resistant.
I have found it easiest to do things in small increments and set small goals; rather than just get out there and look for a part time job (in a tough economy), why not just update your resume when you feel up to it, or search job sites like craigslist or state employment commission on the net?
Other things that help are having a passion for something...artwork, music, a pet, etc. that can help you keep going...worth exploring different things if you don't have something that offers some relief...also, I do little things to comfort myself, like hot bubble baths and cups of cocoa and try to focus on getting through each moment rather than the big picture or even the whole day...
If you are in the USA, and your job is making things worse, could you consider disability for a bit? That might allow you time and resources to retrain for a job that doesn't "pour gasoline on the fire" but rather is something you enjoy and pays the bills. I know what it is to struggle financially...I suffer physical pain and don't have enough money for ibuprophen right now...I know how that can exacerbate depression.
Maybe consider downloading some info on depression for your boyfriend to educate him a little about it rather than him criticizing you for it...but some people who haven't experienced it just don't understand.
Anyway, welcome to the forum! Wishing you light and peace in your day...
If you can't get reduced fee therapy from community mental health services if in the USA, maybe like me you will find peer support on this site of great benefit. Another thing, maybe consider supplementing your anti-depressant with another or changing dosage or changing meds? Sometimes when we are on something a long time it stops working as much because our bodies become acclimated so to speak...it may be something to talk with your doc about next time you go. But, I know for me, the anti-depressant only helps a bit, doesn't really address the problem...I have depression that has been treatment resistant.
I have found it easiest to do things in small increments and set small goals; rather than just get out there and look for a part time job (in a tough economy), why not just update your resume when you feel up to it, or search job sites like craigslist or state employment commission on the net?
Other things that help are having a passion for something...artwork, music, a pet, etc. that can help you keep going...worth exploring different things if you don't have something that offers some relief...also, I do little things to comfort myself, like hot bubble baths and cups of cocoa and try to focus on getting through each moment rather than the big picture or even the whole day...
If you are in the USA, and your job is making things worse, could you consider disability for a bit? That might allow you time and resources to retrain for a job that doesn't "pour gasoline on the fire" but rather is something you enjoy and pays the bills. I know what it is to struggle financially...I suffer physical pain and don't have enough money for ibuprophen right now...I know how that can exacerbate depression.
Maybe consider downloading some info on depression for your boyfriend to educate him a little about it rather than him criticizing you for it...but some people who haven't experienced it just don't understand.
Anyway, welcome to the forum! Wishing you light and peace in your day...
Hi kal78,
Several psychiatric therapies have been found to be helpful in the treatment of depression related to cancer. Most therapy programs for depression are given in 4 to 30 hours and are offered in both individual and group settings. They may include sessions about cancer education or relaxation skills. These therapies are often used in combination and include crisis intervention, psychotherapy, and thought/behavior techniques. Patients explore methods of lowering distress, improving coping and problem-solving skills; enlisting support; reshaping negative and self-defeating thoughts; and developing a close personal bond with an understanding health care provider. Talking with a clergy member may also be helpful for you.
Keep posting how you are feeling on this forum. I have found that it helps a lot. It also helps to listen to some other peoples stories and let them know you are listening and seeing how they get through some especially hard times. I would recommend the getting better section. I hope that this helps in some way. I look forward to hearing from you some more.
Anti depressants
Several psychiatric therapies have been found to be helpful in the treatment of depression related to cancer. Most therapy programs for depression are given in 4 to 30 hours and are offered in both individual and group settings. They may include sessions about cancer education or relaxation skills. These therapies are often used in combination and include crisis intervention, psychotherapy, and thought/behavior techniques. Patients explore methods of lowering distress, improving coping and problem-solving skills; enlisting support; reshaping negative and self-defeating thoughts; and developing a close personal bond with an understanding health care provider. Talking with a clergy member may also be helpful for you.
Keep posting how you are feeling on this forum. I have found that it helps a lot. It also helps to listen to some other peoples stories and let them know you are listening and seeing how they get through some especially hard times. I would recommend the getting better section. I hope that this helps in some way. I look forward to hearing from you some more.
Anti depressants
Last edited by Johnus911 on Thu Feb 11, 2010 11:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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