hi,
i've been suffering a lot from what i thought was social anxiety but i'm beginning to think it's just textbook depression, judging by the plethora of posts here with people describing the same symptoms i'm feeling.
i've been down this road before and know i'm going to start trying to rationalize suicide if i let these feelings go unchecked.
the last time this happened, since i didn't know how bad it could get i ended up involuntarily hospitalized and the institution was the one to set me up with a staff psychiatrist and follow-up care. this time around, i don't have anybody looking out for me so i have to figure it out on my own.
i used to have a psychologist/therapist before that and like so many people before me, i found it to be a waste of my time. i would talk and talk and talk, got little to no feedback and before i knew it my hour was up and i was scheduling another appointment. it was every bit as comical as the psychiatrist subplot in "the sopranos;" i got nothing out of it and eventually stopped seeing her altogether in favor of just having the psychiatrist dope me up with progressively more and more experimental antidepressants. as a result i became a walking corpse, completely dead to the world around me, constantly seeking sleep.
despite my negative past experiences, i'm willing to believe i just got saddled with a bad course of treatment from all three sides. i am now looking at the listings for mental health specialists blue cross is showing are in my network. there're a lot of them.
i don't have a lot of money, time, or patience to spend "shopping" for a psychologist/therapist who might actually be "the right one." i've tried googling some of the names on the list to look for reviews or something but came up with absolutely nothing. i don't have many friends, much less any with therapists of their own, so personal recommendation is out of the question.
here are my questions to you:
(a) is there any way conceivably possible to evaluate a therapist before committing to seeing them? are there certain questions i could ask them that might help me assess their efficacy; how much they would actually benefit me? are there patient-review systems or anything i can look into?
(b) once i've found a therapist, do they typically have a psychiatrist they can refer me to, or am i going to have to repeat step "a" all over again? either way, how can i tell if they know what they're doing or if they're a quack?
or (c), if you've had bad experiences with your psychiatrist/psychologist team in the past, what did you do to correct the situation?
thanks
finding a therapist (and getting the most out of therapy)
Moderators: Sunlily92, windsong, BlueGobi, Moderators, Astrid
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statutoryape
- Posts: 2
- Joined: Mon Sep 21, 2009 4:49 pm
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crystalgaze
- Posts: 2511
- Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2009 10:11 pm
- Location: USA
Hi! Welcome to the forum! Those are good questions. I'm not sure about (a). I've been looking for a way to do the same.
With (b), I know what happened in my case way back when was that since I was already on meds when I went to my therapist, I was definitely recommended one, so my medicine could be continued. The person who gave me names was not my therapist, but my general practitioner (amazingly enough).
I don't know where you live, but I actually looked in the yellow pages.... Are there any groups out there where you are (like support groups)? Maybe they might have some information?
As for telling how they know what they're doing, the only way I know of is researching what they tell you & seeing if they even really listen to you/ignore what you say. It's like you have to be vigilant about it as well. I know 1 way I tested the psych I went to was to ask about if there are any extremely dangerous side effects of the medicine I was taking. When she failed to warn me about Stevens-Johnson syndrome, I was done with her. {Maybe that wasn't fair; I don't know....}
With (c), I left them where they were & saw someone else. If you don't want to do that, then perhaps you could ask for a different approach to treatment. I don't know if something along the lines of "Can we try something different this time?" will do the trick.
Sorry I couldn't be of more help. ~Crystal
Edit: I thought about it a little more, & especially about what's in your title. Getting the most out of therapy can be hard because sometimes you think you know what's best for you but then it really isn't. If the therapist doesn't step in at times, then to me that doesn't really help.
I found that my 1st therapist would just let me talk but didn't really give me any strategies on how to combat/cope with things. At 1st talking was good because I didn't really have any one I could turn to at the time.
At some point, though, I switched from wanting to talk to wanting to get down to it to help myself get better & that was where the ball sort of got dropped. I was leaving where I was back then & coming home, so I switched therapists.
I liked the 2nd 1 I went to, that I chose out of the yellow pages, whose office was extremely unconventional/so not the norm & his approach was a breath of fresh air! I would still go back to him in the future because he wanted to give me strategies to genuinely beat my depression. That gave me some hope, unlike I had had before I went to him.
Maybe how the therapists makes you feel after meeting him/her also can play a role. I'm not entirely sure, though.
With (b), I know what happened in my case way back when was that since I was already on meds when I went to my therapist, I was definitely recommended one, so my medicine could be continued. The person who gave me names was not my therapist, but my general practitioner (amazingly enough).
I don't know where you live, but I actually looked in the yellow pages.... Are there any groups out there where you are (like support groups)? Maybe they might have some information?
As for telling how they know what they're doing, the only way I know of is researching what they tell you & seeing if they even really listen to you/ignore what you say. It's like you have to be vigilant about it as well. I know 1 way I tested the psych I went to was to ask about if there are any extremely dangerous side effects of the medicine I was taking. When she failed to warn me about Stevens-Johnson syndrome, I was done with her. {Maybe that wasn't fair; I don't know....}
With (c), I left them where they were & saw someone else. If you don't want to do that, then perhaps you could ask for a different approach to treatment. I don't know if something along the lines of "Can we try something different this time?" will do the trick.
Sorry I couldn't be of more help. ~Crystal
Edit: I thought about it a little more, & especially about what's in your title. Getting the most out of therapy can be hard because sometimes you think you know what's best for you but then it really isn't. If the therapist doesn't step in at times, then to me that doesn't really help.
I found that my 1st therapist would just let me talk but didn't really give me any strategies on how to combat/cope with things. At 1st talking was good because I didn't really have any one I could turn to at the time.
At some point, though, I switched from wanting to talk to wanting to get down to it to help myself get better & that was where the ball sort of got dropped. I was leaving where I was back then & coming home, so I switched therapists.
I liked the 2nd 1 I went to, that I chose out of the yellow pages, whose office was extremely unconventional/so not the norm & his approach was a breath of fresh air! I would still go back to him in the future because he wanted to give me strategies to genuinely beat my depression. That gave me some hope, unlike I had had before I went to him.
Maybe how the therapists makes you feel after meeting him/her also can play a role. I'm not entirely sure, though.
Last edited by crystalgaze on Mon Sep 21, 2009 6:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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statutoryape
- Posts: 2
- Joined: Mon Sep 21, 2009 4:49 pm
crystalgaze wrote:Hi! Welcome to the forum! Those are good questions. I'm not sure about (a). I've been looking for a way to do the same.
With (b), I know what happened in my case way back when was that since I was already on meds when I went to my therapist, I was definitely recommended one, so my medicine could be continued. The person who gave me names was not my therapist, but my general practitioner (amazingly enough).
I don't know where you live, but I actually looked in the yellow pages.... Are there any groups out there where you are (like support groups)? Maybe they might have some information?
As for telling how they know what they're doing, the only way I know of is researching what they tell you & seeing if they even really listen to you/ignore what you say. It's like you have to be vigilant about it as well. I know 1 way I tested the psych I went to was to ask about if there are any extremely dangerous side effects of the medicine I was taking. When she failed to warn me about Stevens-Johnson syndrome, I was done with her. {Maybe that wasn't fair; I don't know....}
With (c), I left them where they were & saw someone else. If you don't want to do that, then perhaps you could ask for a different approach to treatment. I don't know if something along the lines of "Can we try something different this time?" will do the trick.
Sorry I couldn't be of more help. ~Crystal
no, it's cool, i appreciate the input.
re: support groups-- i forgot to mention, i did look into that, according to the parameters of my insurance coverage. there is one facility on my plan that is both nearby and does group therapy, and i would be open to it, but i have school on the same nights the sessions are hosted. so i can't do anything with that until next semester at the earliest.
i might check the yellow pages and see if there is anything else that i might be able to afford out of pocket.
re-reading what i wrote above, i don't mean to come across as obstinate; i'm just frustrated with my previous experiences and am really just trying to solicit advice as to how i might have a better go at it this time around.
Hi Stat - welcome to the DU forums!
I'm so sorry for what you have experienced, but yes, there is good and bad in this world, and that includes therapists.
In a lot of mental health facilities, there are only a few psychiatrists working, while the rest of the people there are licensed therapists. Many times, there is a waiting list for these places, but they will be able to provide you with help and be cost-effective at the same time. Look into mental health clinics in your area and see what they can offer you. The good news is, once you are accepted, the therapist will begin working with you, and then the doctor. He or she will be there to monitor your medication, while the therapist deals with the talk therapy that is so important to recovery.
I don't know of any way to screen the therapists besides trying them out, stat. Hopefully someone else will have ideas about that.
Good for you for seeking this help before you sank deep into the pit of depression again. It's a sign of your truly healing when you can do that!
Welcome again!!!
I'm so sorry for what you have experienced, but yes, there is good and bad in this world, and that includes therapists.
In a lot of mental health facilities, there are only a few psychiatrists working, while the rest of the people there are licensed therapists. Many times, there is a waiting list for these places, but they will be able to provide you with help and be cost-effective at the same time. Look into mental health clinics in your area and see what they can offer you. The good news is, once you are accepted, the therapist will begin working with you, and then the doctor. He or she will be there to monitor your medication, while the therapist deals with the talk therapy that is so important to recovery.
I don't know of any way to screen the therapists besides trying them out, stat. Hopefully someone else will have ideas about that.
Good for you for seeking this help before you sank deep into the pit of depression again. It's a sign of your truly healing when you can do that!
Welcome again!!!
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statutoryepa
- Posts: 8
- Joined: Tue Sep 22, 2009 12:49 pm
crystalgaze wrote:I found that my 1st therapist would just let me talk but didn't really give me any strategies on how to combat/cope with things. At 1st talking was good because I didn't really have any one I could turn to at the time.
At some point, though, I switched from wanting to talk to wanting to get down to it to help myself get better & that was where the ball sort of got dropped. I was leaving where I was back then & coming home, so I switched therapists.
I liked the 2nd 1 I went to, that I chose out of the yellow pages, whose office was extremely unconventional/so not the norm & his approach was a breath of fresh air! I would still go back to him in the future because he wanted to give me strategies to genuinely beat my depression. That gave me some hope, unlike I had had before I went to him.
Maybe how the therapists makes you feel after meeting him/her also can play a role. I'm not entirely sure, though.
for some reason, my account went inactive. it's me again though.
so it seems you got tired of the "just-talk" therapy. that's kind of the same conclusion i came to; ideally after i put everything on the table i'd want somebody to work with me to set goals for me to overcome, rather than just leave me to figure it out myself.
what was it about your second therapist that was so unconventional?
aim wrote:In a lot of mental health facilities, there are only a few psychiatrists working, while the rest of the people there are licensed therapists. Many times, there is a waiting list for these places, but they will be able to provide you with help and be cost-effective at the same time. Look into mental health clinics in your area and see what they can offer you. The good news is, once you are accepted, the therapist will begin working with you, and then the doctor. He or she will be there to monitor your medication, while the therapist deals with the talk therapy that is so important to recovery.
hi amy,
i must admit i'm not sure what you're telling me here. i wasn't really looking forward to being put through the indignities of institutionalization again.
can you clarify?
thx
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crystalgaze
- Posts: 2511
- Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2009 10:11 pm
- Location: USA
Hey again Stat! 
What was so different about my 2nd therapist vs. all the others I went to was:
He would let me talk. Really listen to what I said. Did his best to figure out what I was really saying (even when I didn't know how to put it) & talk back to me. Instead of just letting me talk, he was often throwing out solutions, which got me into a different mode of thinking.
It was more of an exchange vs. a 1-sided thing where I talk & maybe he listens.
The best way I could describe my therapist's approach is: There is a problem. Let me see how I can help & what solution I can try to lessen or get rid of the problem all together.
At the end of the session, he didn't just let me walk out of there. He gave me "homework" assignments, which really drove it home for me that I had to put in the effort on myself. (I'm not saying that people who are depressed don't try; I was at a point where I was like, "I see it now & I think I can do it." )
In general, the "homework" was just stuff to get me thinking, stuff to help me cope. The homework really was to help me focus.
I have not been to him in a while, as I wanted to try to figure it out myself or return at a time when I was more open to his approach. At 1st, I REALLY DIDN'T UNDERSTAND HIS APPROACH/STYLE, but I see now that it was a good 1 & it's what I'm using today to help me get through stuff for the most part.
~Crystal
What was so different about my 2nd therapist vs. all the others I went to was:
He would let me talk. Really listen to what I said. Did his best to figure out what I was really saying (even when I didn't know how to put it) & talk back to me. Instead of just letting me talk, he was often throwing out solutions, which got me into a different mode of thinking.
It was more of an exchange vs. a 1-sided thing where I talk & maybe he listens.
The best way I could describe my therapist's approach is: There is a problem. Let me see how I can help & what solution I can try to lessen or get rid of the problem all together.
At the end of the session, he didn't just let me walk out of there. He gave me "homework" assignments, which really drove it home for me that I had to put in the effort on myself. (I'm not saying that people who are depressed don't try; I was at a point where I was like, "I see it now & I think I can do it." )
In general, the "homework" was just stuff to get me thinking, stuff to help me cope. The homework really was to help me focus.
I have not been to him in a while, as I wanted to try to figure it out myself or return at a time when I was more open to his approach. At 1st, I REALLY DIDN'T UNDERSTAND HIS APPROACH/STYLE, but I see now that it was a good 1 & it's what I'm using today to help me get through stuff for the most part.
~Crystal
((((statutoryepa))))
No, not talking about being institutionalized at all. What I mean is, if you go to a Mental Health Clinic, similar to a walk-in physical health clinic, only they treat the mind not the body, they will probably be able to help you through therapy. These places generally have at least one psychiatrist on staff who can prescribe medication and monitor it for you... this includes refilling prescriptions when you need them, and deciding which medication would suit you best.
Just Google "Mental Health Clinic" and the area where you live, and see what pops up. You've got nothing to lose by checking it out!
Please keep us informed...
No, not talking about being institutionalized at all. What I mean is, if you go to a Mental Health Clinic, similar to a walk-in physical health clinic, only they treat the mind not the body, they will probably be able to help you through therapy. These places generally have at least one psychiatrist on staff who can prescribe medication and monitor it for you... this includes refilling prescriptions when you need them, and deciding which medication would suit you best.
Just Google "Mental Health Clinic" and the area where you live, and see what pops up. You've got nothing to lose by checking it out!
Please keep us informed...
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statutoryepa
- Posts: 8
- Joined: Tue Sep 22, 2009 12:49 pm
crystalgaze wrote:Hey again Stat!
What was so different about my 2nd therapist vs. all the others I went to was:
He would let me talk. Really listen to what I said. Did his best to figure out what I was really saying (even when I didn't know how to put it) & talk back to me. Instead of just letting me talk, he was often throwing out solutions, which got me into a different mode of thinking.
It was more of an exchange vs. a 1-sided thing where I talk & maybe he listens.
The best way I could describe my therapist's approach is: There is a problem. Let me see how I can help & what solution I can try to lessen or get rid of the problem all together.
At the end of the session, he didn't just let me walk out of there. He gave me "homework" assignments, which really drove it home for me that I had to put in the effort on myself. (I'm not saying that people who are depressed don't try; I was at a point where I was like, "I see it now & I think I can do it." )
In general, the "homework" was just stuff to get me thinking, stuff to help me cope. The homework really was to help me focus.
I have not been to him in a while, as I wanted to try to figure it out myself or return at a time when I was more open to his approach. At 1st, I REALLY DIDN'T UNDERSTAND HIS APPROACH/STYLE, but I see now that it was a good 1 & it's what I'm using today to help me get through stuff for the most part.
~Crystal
Awesome. That's exactly the type of accommodation I was looking for.
aim wrote:((((statutoryepa))))
No, not talking about being institutionalized at all. What I mean is, if you go to a Mental Health Clinic, similar to a walk-in physical health clinic, only they treat the mind not the body, they will probably be able to help you through therapy. These places generally have at least one psychiatrist on staff who can prescribe medication and monitor it for you... this includes refilling prescriptions when you need them, and deciding which medication would suit you best.
Just Google "Mental Health Clinic" and the area where you live, and see what pops up. You've got nothing to lose by checking it out!
Please keep us informed...
Gotcha, thanks. I actually found out that my school has a fully staffed clinic with everything from doctors to psychiatrists, so since my tuition is already paying for it I think I'll stop by there as a first resort and see how it goes. If it's too inconvenient or not helpful then at least now I have something to fall back on.
Much appreciated, both of you
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crystalgaze
- Posts: 2511
- Joined: Sun Jun 28, 2009 10:11 pm
- Location: USA
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statutoryepa
- Posts: 8
- Joined: Tue Sep 22, 2009 12:49 pm
Hello to both of you; thanks for your concern.
Apparently my school only provides one free psych evaluation; after that it's $50 a pop or so. My school isn't exactly close by and they don't file claims with the insurance companies on patients' behalf. Since I had private insurance, and the copays should be significantly less than that, I opted to take the plunge and just pick the first name from the Blue Cross directory.
I chose to see a psychiatrist first, since even my brief moments of happiness are plagued with sadness, and the idea was that I definitely wouldn't get anything out of therapy if i was so horribly depressed and cynical to begin with.
The psych appointment went ok. I told him about my past experiences and my financial situation and he seemed willing to work with me regarding treatment. He prescribed me generics which I was able to get cheaply from the grocery store, which is nice, but the side effects were getting to be so bad I had to kick it. I have another appointment in the next few weeks so I'm going to request something different.
On the other hand, I'm beginning to think suicide is preferable to dealing with the insurance company. Dark humor though it is, I really wouldn't wish this Byzantine nonsense on my worst enemy. Just getting myself to seek treatment was enough of a chore but now it seems they're doing everything in their power to deny my claims or attribute this to being a pre-existing condition. So I'm having to pay for the completely unsubsidized amount of the psych visits, which run about $300 a pop. I won't be doing this much longer.
In response, I'm trying to adopt some of the lifestyle changes which I keep getting beaten over the head with whenever I read about depression. Eating right has never worked out for me, but I'm trying to get out and exercise 2-3 times a week and I'm also looking into volunteer activities to try to get me out of the house and integrated with society again.
So that's where I'm at; further bulletins as events warrant.
Thanks again
Apparently my school only provides one free psych evaluation; after that it's $50 a pop or so. My school isn't exactly close by and they don't file claims with the insurance companies on patients' behalf. Since I had private insurance, and the copays should be significantly less than that, I opted to take the plunge and just pick the first name from the Blue Cross directory.
I chose to see a psychiatrist first, since even my brief moments of happiness are plagued with sadness, and the idea was that I definitely wouldn't get anything out of therapy if i was so horribly depressed and cynical to begin with.
The psych appointment went ok. I told him about my past experiences and my financial situation and he seemed willing to work with me regarding treatment. He prescribed me generics which I was able to get cheaply from the grocery store, which is nice, but the side effects were getting to be so bad I had to kick it. I have another appointment in the next few weeks so I'm going to request something different.
On the other hand, I'm beginning to think suicide is preferable to dealing with the insurance company. Dark humor though it is, I really wouldn't wish this Byzantine nonsense on my worst enemy. Just getting myself to seek treatment was enough of a chore but now it seems they're doing everything in their power to deny my claims or attribute this to being a pre-existing condition. So I'm having to pay for the completely unsubsidized amount of the psych visits, which run about $300 a pop. I won't be doing this much longer.
In response, I'm trying to adopt some of the lifestyle changes which I keep getting beaten over the head with whenever I read about depression. Eating right has never worked out for me, but I'm trying to get out and exercise 2-3 times a week and I'm also looking into volunteer activities to try to get me out of the house and integrated with society again.
So that's where I'm at; further bulletins as events warrant.
Thanks again
(((((statutoryepa)))))
So sorry about all of the insurance hassles! It's a great country... except for HMO'S!!! Good on you for seeking help though. Do whatever you have to do to make yourself better, ok? Take care of YOU above all else. Your peace of mind is worth all of the hassle in the long run.
Please do keep us posted on your progress, and I hope you are proud of yourself for getting out there and getting the help you need!
-PS medication can be a tricky game sometimes, statutoryepa. It can be a try, try again series, but please keep the faith knowing that you will find the right one for you in time.
So sorry about all of the insurance hassles! It's a great country... except for HMO'S!!! Good on you for seeking help though. Do whatever you have to do to make yourself better, ok? Take care of YOU above all else. Your peace of mind is worth all of the hassle in the long run.
Please do keep us posted on your progress, and I hope you are proud of yourself for getting out there and getting the help you need!
-PS medication can be a tricky game sometimes, statutoryepa. It can be a try, try again series, but please keep the faith knowing that you will find the right one for you in time.
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