How can I get through the day?

[lisalou]

I am utterly utterly drained,had such a bad night's sleep,took about four hours to get off then woke up after about an hour,then just had a couple of half an hour dozes,i lay in the dark so exhausted i couldn't move,listening to a soothing cd over and over again but sleep still wouldn't come and even when i shut my eyes things were shimmering,now i feel even more dead and heavy than ever,i feel like calling in sick to work but i literally only just went back yesterday and i guess it is just for three hours,as long as i dont drop a child it might be ok,don't let me cry,don't let me cry...i have a doctors appointment later and my counsellor,at least they will see how truly broken i am. one of my faithful cats is with me right now,i wish i could carry him with me all day...

[Mich]

*hugs*...those sleepless nights are terrible. I am glad you had your kitty with you for comfort. I hope you can share all your thoughts and feelings with your counselor and that it brings you some relief. If I lived there, I would come over and see you today for sure. I hope work goes okay. I am sure the kids will be happy to see you....that might help your mood a bit. Thinking of you.

[crystalgaze]

Hi Lisa... Ah.... I wish things were going better for you right now....

The other day in a post somewhere I said something about a stuffed animal...

Do you think a stuffed animal kitty would help? You would be able to take that with you everywhere (right?)....

It's not the same as your kitty, but.... maybe if you find one your really like, it might work???

[lisalou]

I have somehow got through the day,feeling sick as a dog and been dissociated and stumbling into things all day but somehow ok,was working in the baby room at nursery today which was really quiet so that was easier,far harder to interact with the staff than the kids really,three hours of being a normal human being and i was more than ready to go straight back to bed,counselling was quite welcome as i could lie on her sofa,found myself able to talk about all sorts of things just from being so semi-conscious.maybe lack of sleep is the way forward for my therapy although it might kill me...! my employers have agreed to continue letting me work just three hours a day monday to thursday for now and having fridays off to go to my group,i'm so pleased,it's all i can cope with for now. It would be nice indeed crystal to have some kind of little cuddly cat toy although in a fantasy world i'd pop Smudge in a baby sling,he quite likes being carried actually. Half past eleven now and i should really go to bed,i hope and pray for sleep

[jonathan]

Sorry this is kind of late, but I got a question/suggestion. Do you like to read at all? I find when I'm feeling really bad or can't sleep at night, reading helps me out. It puts me in a different place/time for a little while, and it's comforting to be there. Even if it's just for that bit of time, it makes me forget.

[lisalou]

hiya jonathan, i LOVE to read,i am constanly buying secondhand books cos they're so cheap amd then never have time to read them all,have piles of them everywhere!!! I have a real problem with concentration though when I am depressed,it's really frustrating,i do try to read even if it's just something really easy like a kid's book or something i already know inside out. really should have tried that monday night...!

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

((((((((((((((((( lisalou )))))))))))))))))

This may sound silly or even off topic in away.

I have this 'special blue stone' I carry with me. Tucked away in my pocket, daily.

it is 'special' for a child gave it to me for luck. He said a little prayer over that stone, gave it a kiss and told me he put love inside.

Now with that, how can the stone not be 'good luck and special'? I carry that with me, when I feel stressed, feel the anxiety creeping in, all I do is touch the stone and then I sense, see, feel the love of that child for me.

Point is, it doesn't have to be something very big to have handy, just something that will help get the mind back on track.

Warmie/Jeanie

[lisalou]

now that is very weird...in a good way... i also have a blue stone warmie,a little metallic blue ornamental stone that is in my coat pocket,i hold it when i am out and about and feel any anxiety creeping up. i have been quite good generally actually,i used to have terrible social anxiety thhat would erupt into panic attacks whenever i went out or was in a cinema or class at uni...nowadays i'm generally too depressed to get too anxious,which isn't good obviously but it means i don't care too much about what other people think about me any more. i even just throw a coat over my pyjamas sometimes to go to the shop. and they say i've let myself go....!

hope your special blue stone keeps working its magic for you

Lisa x

[Mich]

I need to get one of these stones! Lisa, I also go out in my pyjamas and often wear clothes to bed and then keep wearing them the next day. I know what you mean about letting yourself go. I just don't care.

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

((((((((((((((( lisalou )))))))))))))))))

Yes it is an blue ornamental stone. Would never consider not having it, no amount of money could get it from me. That 'special' gift is in my pocket as I typed. Always close.

(((((((((((((((( Mich ))))))))))))))) look down, a small stone will get your attention and then you will have a special stone as well.

I would suggest everyone to have one, that little piece of rock has gotten me through so much. How did I do it without it??

Love to all

Warmie/Jeanie