Why do your family & friends not want to recognise the s

[Belanne]

Ive suffered from depression for 3 years. Am on medication and have not hid the fact from my closest family and friends . These are people who know & love me and yet its like they want to turn a blind eye to my depression because its just too hard to deal with. Does anyone else experience this?

[xn728]

hey there ,yes this is the same most anywere ,my family know i suffer ,but i dont show them the true amount of my torment it would be to painful for them ,but non family we,ll freinds i have no more ,they did,nt know what to say or do ,but having said that i was lets say of the rails for a lot of years and did some wild things ,so maybe my reply helps a little but im sure you will receive some more opinions ,ps have seen the name before ,welcome if your new ,and if your not welcome anyway ,,xn728

[Belanne]

The Dark Demon

A dark night that is never ending
The dark demon clawing at your soul
Life lived under a constant cloud.
On the other side of the abyss,
A ray of hope, a glimpse of freedom,
Memories of happiness
Sun, warmth, the light of life
Just out of reach but always there
A slippery slope, hard to grab hold
A step forward then 2 steps back
How to bridge the gap?
Climb out of the dark?
Break free from the demon?
A never ending journey
To the inner depths of your mind
Always hoping that someone,
Somewhere, will understand
And wake you up from this eternal dark night.

[xn728]

i understand your post ,but im the demon that created the dark night .and unfortunatly after 43 years a sufferer ,it will not end till my last breath is exhaled xn728

[Mich]

Belanne - I totally hear what you are saying. My husband totally pretends that my depression doesn't exist. He never asks how I am feeling and is not open to my expressing any feelings about it. It makes for a very lonely existence.

[lisalou]

I understand too,although i am lucky in that my boyfriend is generally very supportive and loving he will never understand. he gets really frustrated with me sometimes (well i do too) and asks WHAT is wrong and i just can't define the pain and desolation that is about everything and yet nothing. when i say that i wish i was dead or talk about suicide he gets angry and tells me to shut up. i know deep down though that this is just worry and a refusal to imagine me killing myself. i got similar anger from people years back when i did actually take an overdose. i suspect that your friends and family know exactly how bad you are feeling but are terrified and don't know what to say and just want you to be happy so that's what they pretend

please feel free to write on here anytime Belanne,there will always be plenty of us to understand and support you

Love Lisa x

[crystalgaze]

Yes, I have been there as well. It's all very odd. The only thing I can say--& it's not easy to do--is to not bother with them. It is possible that you might not need them to understand but only for many ways to channel how you feel. (meaning you might be underestimating yourself? I know lots of things I thought I would never be able to do, I did--both good & not-so-good.)

For me, I can curl up with my computers or a video game or music or here + other forums, reading, some singing (etc.), even down to cleaning & I'm good. I make that work. [I think if I ever met Tim Dunn, I would have to thank him for saying that. "Make it work." It's so true--hard, but true. Of course, not every one will be like me & I will not be like every one else either.]

I think I have started to manage a little because I have decided that I don't need any one else to really understand. I KNOW that there are others who understand--like the people who have been on this forum. I have really taken the screw them/later for them approach. I think I just got sick & tired of folk not wanting to hear it or whatever else. & I found out that in my head, my answer was, "Oh? You don't want to hear it? Then, stay the F away from me & get out my life."

With the approach I have used, I have chosen my path. & you CAN choose yours, too & you can change that path at any time you want on some level. I think I just got tired of being on the fence or the in-between/the no man's land & being tossed around, like a ball, by people. Hello? I am worth much more than that (a mere soft, beat-up, deflating tennis ball). I know I don't deserve being tossed around + I'm not going to take that mess off of anyone. (The ball just grew legs or wings & took control of itself. That's right.)

It took me a while to get there, but I did get there. I hope you get there, too.

In my quest for basic functioning, I have just come to accept that I can't really talk to my family or much of any one else about what I am. It is okay. My parents love in other ways. I've found that I can be tolerated when I don't say much while in a mood--whether high or low--so I am adapting. I'll do something non-verbal instead, which isn't as distressing (to them). Being self-contained for the most part is a challenge, but if you can pull it off, it can be very worth it.

Communicating in a way that people who are not depressed can feel comfortable can often also be a challenge..... ~sigh~ One can only wonder if that challenge isn't part of the solution.