Let's talk about how this condition is really affecting us

[sadallthetime]

I'd like to start a dialogue among all of us suffering from dysthymia and/or depression.

Let's not just express all the platitudes and self help tips like getting enough rest, exercising, eating right, volunteering, going to a group, seeing physicians, telling ourselves countless times that we're worthwhile, or counting our blessings, meditating, getting out of the house, etc. How much have any of these "treatments' really helped you, so that you can live what is perceived as a "normal" life and not one that is filled with emotional pain, lethargy, hopelessness, constant struggling to get through bad days. I have all of the feelings in my last sentence.

Sometimes it goes away for a little while but so many things can trigger that horrific down and isolated/lonely feeling that I just don't know how to combat it anymore. My meds are helping, but I NEVER feel good-sometimes I feel this very normal feeling and can't believe most people feel this way all the time. It's always very fleeting. I need help with coping, getting joy out of life, looking forward to my day, making friends, (the lack of which seems to be a major characteristic of depression.) How do the rest of you feel? If you're on this board, you must be bad off, so don't just repeat the trite words that the psychiatric professionals throw around as being so great.

[nenkohai2]

I've worked with the idea of "what am I willing to do to feel better?"

As I see it, my mental health is my responsibility. I can not rely on external influences. Which means, I will not ever use self-victimization.

Yea, I get that depression makes you not even WANT to seek out treatment or help. But even if you're crawling at least you are moving forward.

And getting to feeling better takes work. So many who suffer do not understand that. It is a process that often does not have an end-goal -it is a process of on-going management.

You've got to ask yourself some hard questions: "Am I relying on self-victimization to get sympathy?" "and what does that do for me?" I'm gonna guess not much.

Yes, I know, it is a slog. Especially at first. But if you want to feel better you MUST be willing to do something positive about it. You MUST be willing to work WITH (and I stress WITH!!) a professional to get a treatment or management plan together. DO NOT expect the docs to have answers just because you believe they should. Work with them to help steer you to what is helping. They are a partner.

My opinion, of course. Always willing to see other viewpoints, however.

[sadallthetime]

I think I've given you the wrong impression.

I have had dysthymia/depression for as long as I can remember. I've been on meds for over 20 years. Lots of them. I see a psychiatrist regularly and a therapist. I am not engaging in self-victimization.

I know this whole thing is a process and what I do every day is managing my condition the best I can. You see-I know all this. Probably I know and understand much more about this than you. I've even tried TMS when it first came out. I got on Prozac the minute the news came out that they found something effective for depression.

I'm a senior citizen. It may be a journey-it may be a process-it may just consist of self management and trial and error. THAT DOES NOT REFUTE MY ASSERTION THAT DYSTHYMIA IS HERE TO STAY WITH THE INDIVIDUAL WHO HAS IT. Yes, of course, some days are better than others. Some days are such a struggle, I just get sick of the constant effort.

Well, that's about it. I truly thank you for your opinion and hope it helps some people.

[nenkohai2]

I apologize. By using "you" and "you're" etc, I meant the more generic and broad "you." Certainly not you, personally. I did not mean to imply that these things are directly relevant to you, necessarily.

For what it may be worth, I'm "upper-middle aged" and have been on meds and seeing professionals for roughly the same time frame as yourself.

Like you, I'm not interested in pat responses or platitudes. I will always remain open to management techniques; thought processes; cognitive training.

[sadallthetime]

I certainly accept your apology.

I don't know what I'm open to anymore. I am so bored right now, I want to rn out and scream in the middle of the street. My husband is working from home right here. I haven't worked in around 20 years.

I do lots of things. I belong to lots of things, but don't really feel a part of anything. I feel like an outsider, like I don't belong. Oh, what's the point of my writing this. I'll just be living 'til I die.

[nenkohai2]

If I start in on talking about strategies that have helped me, truly helped, I would sound like I am advocating for a particular religion and I don't want to do that. I WILL say that it is not Judaeo-Christian or Islamic (though I respect those traditions).

The disciplines have helped me to reign-in my thoughts from otherwise "bad" places. I would be willing to discuss via private message, should anyone have an interest. Will not bring it up in this public forum, however.