I really think I am losing my mind

[Cougar2008]

I am a three time cancer survivor. I know all the arguments about finding something to live for. I have to undergo frequent screenings, and found myself wishing the results had turned something up. There would be an end to all this.

[JonsDragonEyes]

I wish I could give you a hug for everything that you've been through. I wish they would find a way to prevent this horrible nightmare. I am so sorry that you have to go through this. Please hold on. Please don't give up.

[Cougar2008]

Oh Jons Dragon Eyes... Thank you.. I am in such a place with this that I don't feel like I deserve even your kind words. Before my diagnosis, I was a pretty horrible person. I realized this could be an opportunity for a fresh start, and to right some wrongs I had done. Five years later, I realize beating myself silly isn't changing anything. I guess there were lots of people that did not want to give the benefit of the doubt, and I feel discounted, dismissed and pretty much done. I don't know what direction to turn, and I feel like I am falling in a bottomless pit.

[100footpole]

Cougar2008's last post was on August 8.

The lesson I take from it is PLEASE YOU ALL, check back in sometimes.

Because I can't know, I assume the best for Cougar2008.