It's 3 a.m.
No one is awake and it's cold in this house. I don't know why I'm here but then again I don't know much any more. Everything has been obscure lately. Dull, cloudy. I guess you could say everyone has their reason for being here. Maybe it's depression, maybe anxiety, eating disorders, god knows. But me? Well I too suffer, from dysthymia. My problem is I don't know why. What could a 15 year old, such as I, have to be unhappy about? I have friends, I have a family who are well off, I have access to education, everything I need. Yet I'm here indulging in the comfort of self harm and drowning my mind in thoughts of suicide and self hatred. It makes me angry, angry that whilst so many people out there have every right to feel the way I do, I who have a life most people would love, am unhappy. It makes me feel like I'm mocking those with actual issues. I'm not trying to, but the feeling will not leave me be. Guilt and selfishness. It's all there. I may be making no sense and maybe no one will ever see this, or even understand it but hey, at least I know that for once I didn't keep it all to myself. My current state of mind is out there. I spoke out for once. I guess it's better than nothing....nothing.
Oblivion
Moderators: Sunlily92, windsong, BlueGobi, Moderators, Astrid
Sup Crooked;
I don't know. I don't about me; but I'm learning. I think that there are plenty of people struggling with lives that don't meet there expectations. Sometimes we set our own expectations; sometimes we let people set our expectations for us. But wherever we get our expectations, whether we can actually meet them isn't always a matter of resources, or education, society.
Sometimes our lives move in unexpected directions. So we alter our expectations or we become disoriented, disappointed, depressed,.. Get me wrong. I'm not proposing a solution. Many people are finding it hard to meet very reasonable expectations, like food and shelter. But society, business, and media are thrusting more complicated expectations on us that make it can make it hard to feel good about ourselves. And it's hard to just shrug these expectations off.
There is no shame in being fortunate. But you do have the opportunity of more choices. And you may have more choices in which expectations to place on your self and on those around you.
I don't know. I don't about me; but I'm learning. I think that there are plenty of people struggling with lives that don't meet there expectations. Sometimes we set our own expectations; sometimes we let people set our expectations for us. But wherever we get our expectations, whether we can actually meet them isn't always a matter of resources, or education, society.
Sometimes our lives move in unexpected directions. So we alter our expectations or we become disoriented, disappointed, depressed,.. Get me wrong. I'm not proposing a solution. Many people are finding it hard to meet very reasonable expectations, like food and shelter. But society, business, and media are thrusting more complicated expectations on us that make it can make it hard to feel good about ourselves. And it's hard to just shrug these expectations off.
There is no shame in being fortunate. But you do have the opportunity of more choices. And you may have more choices in which expectations to place on your self and on those around you.
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CrookedYoung
- Posts: 3
- Joined: Sat Dec 21, 2013 10:04 pm
I was stuck in that cycle for a while, feeling sad but not knowing why. I had no real problems like people on here do. No external factors were bothering me, so I guess I was the problem. I was surrounded by friends and family, if I wanted to talk I had a list to choose from but I was always more interested in hearing about other people's problems than talking about my own because I couldn't even figure out what it was that was bothering me so what was I suppose to tell them?
Don't go spending days, weeks, months or even years staying in your room trying to figure it out. That is not where you will find the answer. Life is a journey you have to keep walking, there will be obstacles in your way but you will find a way to overcome them. The more you overcome, the stronger you will grow and the more you will find out about yourself. So many people "think" they know themselves but they really don't. Look more into self discovery by going through different experiences would help you find your answer.
I started walking and when I look back I wasted so much time and missed out on so many things looking for an answer which is no longer important to me. I have found other things in life to fill that void which would not have happened if I locked myself up.
Your parents have provided you with a comfortable life which can cause lack of ambition. I was in that position but try to imagine if you or your family lost everything, how would you help? Do you have qualifications? Can you get a job? How can you help your family instead of becoming a burden?
Never stop learning and training yourself, for your own sake and for the people you love. Don't take the things you have for granted, one day they might all disappear and if you have spent years doing nothing then you havent put yourself in a very good position.
I have wasted so much time but I had to wake up eventually and chase back some of those years. You are only 15, you haven't wasted your time yet and I advise you not to. Set yourself some goals, imagine what you want your life to be like when you grow up then go ahead and start achieving them. You may find your answer or you might not but at least you are moving and not watching time pass you by and have achieved nothing. Best of luck!
Don't go spending days, weeks, months or even years staying in your room trying to figure it out. That is not where you will find the answer. Life is a journey you have to keep walking, there will be obstacles in your way but you will find a way to overcome them. The more you overcome, the stronger you will grow and the more you will find out about yourself. So many people "think" they know themselves but they really don't. Look more into self discovery by going through different experiences would help you find your answer.
I started walking and when I look back I wasted so much time and missed out on so many things looking for an answer which is no longer important to me. I have found other things in life to fill that void which would not have happened if I locked myself up.
Your parents have provided you with a comfortable life which can cause lack of ambition. I was in that position but try to imagine if you or your family lost everything, how would you help? Do you have qualifications? Can you get a job? How can you help your family instead of becoming a burden?
Never stop learning and training yourself, for your own sake and for the people you love. Don't take the things you have for granted, one day they might all disappear and if you have spent years doing nothing then you havent put yourself in a very good position.
I have wasted so much time but I had to wake up eventually and chase back some of those years. You are only 15, you haven't wasted your time yet and I advise you not to. Set yourself some goals, imagine what you want your life to be like when you grow up then go ahead and start achieving them. You may find your answer or you might not but at least you are moving and not watching time pass you by and have achieved nothing. Best of luck!
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