My period started yesterday, so, it has something to do with the way I feel.
I started the healthy diete this morning. I'm so hungry. I know some of you will say when you're hungry, you're supposed to eat. But it's not a "healthy hungry" because the last few weeks, I used to eat something like 5000-8000 calories per day. You know, unhealthy food are so cheaper than the healthy food. But that is just another excuse for my bad eating habits...
Today, I really need to talk to someone, but there is no one I can call. And I can't call a crisis line because I'm at work and everyone can hear when you're on the phone, and I'm not in a crisis so they will tell me to leave the line for someone who really needs it (yup, happened to me before).
So desesperate. Yesterday, for the first time in a long long period, I really though about the suicide for a tiny moment. I mean I feel suicidal everyday and I learned to live with it. I mean I feel suicidal but I know that I won't do it. But yesterday, those money issues, I really thought for about 5 seconds that yeah, that's the solution. 5 seconds isn't long, but what's important is that I didn't had that "serious though" in a long long time. But hey, when I have my period, I can get very very low...
I'm at work, thinking about my dogs. I want to cuddles them. Yesterday, I cut the claws of one of my dogs and cutted one too short.
She bleed, oh, poor little honey... I love them so much. They are my life.
Ok, I stop to write because I'm about to cry and I don't want to cry at work.
Take care everyone.
