:(

[karolanne]

Hi folks,

I'm very very very depressed today. I weighted myself this morning and cried.

Now, I feel I have fever and I really don't feel good. But I think it's psychological symptoms. I just want to cry. I hate myself. I hate my body, I hate my mind. I feel I'm hopeless. I feel it was illusions to think I can eat healthy and go to the gym. I feel it was illusions to think I may be in relatively good shape. I'm a disaster.

Oh my friends here on this forum, I need your help today to cheer me up. I feel so alone in this world. I'm alone with myself and I hate me...

[hollyann]

((((((karolanne))))))))

[karolanne]

((((( hollyann)))) thanks ♥

What's hard is being at work and have to do like there's nothing. But inside me, I just want to cry. Yesterday, I stayed at home. Last night, I slept more than 14 hours and it was still hard to wake up this morning to go to work. I'm having a hard time...

[Frame]

I'm so sorry karolanne; I truly want you to be your best.

I think it might help, when your feeling this low, to consider that your going to feel this low again.

And you've have felt this low before. And part the challenge in conquering the blues is to focus on lengthening the space (the good times) between depression and shortening the space (the bad times) in depression. Now, I know if I were you, I would feel there is nothing I can do about getting out of the low I'm in now. But perhaps you can take a little time and imagine what you might do (when it passes; and it will pas) to lengthen the time you spend outside the depression space. I guess I'm talking about thinking ahead, just a little bit.

Whatever you do, if you can, if you can't; know you have the right to forgive yourself.

[karolanne]

Thanks Frame.

I went to the gym this morning. I try not to let my down wins.

I take back all the weight I've lost in the last 10 months. That's why I'm so down. It was a huge work to do that. So now, there is only one choice to do : start again. So, I have to motivate myself and do it again.

10 months of work went to garbage for 5 weeks of anxiety and binge eating

Positive side : Grumpy Cat made me laugh today

[karolanne]

Geez, I bleeded to death last night. I woke up and I felt "wet" lol I went to the bathroom and there was blood everywhere, even from my bedroom to the bathroom. I guess my future roommate won't find it nice to hear someone doing some cleaning in the middle of the night... That's life of a women getting older lol

I feel a little bit better today, except for the headache because of the bleeding...