Okay, now what?

[wanttobedead]

I have no friends to talk to.

The one friend I had refused to let me talk when I needed to talk.

Talking to strangers on the computer does not work.

I have no money for counseling and there are no free counseling services in my area.

I want to be dead.

I'm backed into a corner and there's nowhere to go.

[fallen]

people are friendly and helpful on here, and you can always try the chat room if you can get a word in, sometimes can be a bit difficult, unless you can type like superman, the speed of light.
take care you are not alone

[wanttobedead]

I am alone.

There's no way around that.

Words on a screen are not friendships nor a reasonable substitute for socializing.

I'm alone.

[Frame]

Words spoken to someone who is not listening; that's not socializing either. Even if the person sitting next to might talk back, it's still not socializing; it's not a conversation unless both people are listening.

Words on a screen are not friendships

And I totally agree. The socializing happens between two people who are listening. The friendships happen over time. There are people listening behind these pixels, just as if they were on the other end of a phone or across the room. Are you listening?

And when it come to being alone; I wish I were alone. I crave being alone. I don't know how many times I've heard someone say, "I'm happy by my self; but I'm lonely in the middle of a crowd."

So, you are alone where you are; congrats. You decided to try this forum; that's good. Your not alone here (though maybe you want to be) but you are anonymous. Tell us a little more about what's bothering you.

[Frame]

When you get depressed and need someone to talk to, friends leave.
It happens a lot, especially now, when the expectation is that you are not supposed to be inconvenienced.
They shove you away and don't want to see you again until you can be happy around them.
This is why you have literally millions of people combing the internet, and posting on sites like this one, looking for total strangers to unload on, and it's not even like you're talking to total strangers--just random words on a screen.
We treat strangers like friends and friends like strangers, and spend way too much time justifying the cold-hearted actions of friends when they scrape you off because you're not happy all the time.
When a friend leaves or makes themselves unavailable when you need nothing more than a shoulder to cry on and an ear to bend, that person
does
not
care.

No excuses, no lies, no broken promises.

That kind of person does not care.

Yup
...well except for the part where people don't care. People do care; and there are a few people out there who are so unburdened with their own problems that they have plenty of time to spend helping others. The way the world is changing, there are fewer and fewer unburdened people. Even people who are much much better off than me see their expectations pulled up way short. The reason is that we've been way over sold our expectation, all of us.

Doesn't mean people don't care; but they do have to conserve their energy. People who care the most are the ones who see all the crises.

But, so...OK, we're total strangers. And your unloading. What's going on?

[wanttobedead]

Yup
...well except for the part where people don't care. People do care; and there are a few people out there who are so unburdened with their own problems that they have plenty of time to spend helping others. The way the world is changing, there are fewer and fewer unburdened people. Even people who are much much better off than me see their expectations pulled up way short. The reason is that we've been way over sold our expectation, all of us.

Doesn't mean people don't care; but they do have to conserve their energy. People who care the most are the ones who see all the crises.

But, so...OK, we're total strangers. And your unloading. What's going on?

No, the kinds of people I spoke of specifically--they don't care.

They won't care until they find themselves in crisis and know what it feels like.

And my unloading what?

That makes no sense.

Unloading isn't a thing that can have something.

If you mean that I am unloading, no I'm not.

I haven't talked about even one of the things I need to talk to someone about.

Not one.

It would do no good.

[wanttobedead]

Words spoken to someone who is not listening; that's not socializing either. Even if the person sitting next to might talk back, it's still not socializing; it's not a conversation unless both people are listening.

Words on a screen are not friendships

And I totally agree. The socializing happens between two people who are listening. The friendships happen over time. There are people listening behind these pixels, just as if they were on the other end of a phone or across the room. Are you listening?

And when it come to being alone; I wish I were alone. I crave being alone. I don't know how many times I've heard someone say, "I'm happy by my self; but I'm lonely in the middle of a crowd."

So, you are alone where you are; congrats. You decided to try this forum; that's good. Your not alone here My not alone what? You're confusing me (though maybe you want to be) but you are anonymous. Tell us a little more about what's bothering you. That would be unproductive. I don't know you, you don't know me.

[Frame]

What would be unproductive about talking about what's bothering you?

[Pilule]

Most people don't want to talk about depression with their friends. I know that's the case with me. If I talk about my depression they're quick to change the subject.

Most people don't even want to ear about illness, let alone depression.

If you wan't to make friends and only talk about depression, it won't work.

[Frame]

Your not alone here My not alone what? You're confusing me (though maybe you want to be) but you are anonymous.

Putting "Your not alone" into first person becomes "I'm not alone". Don't get me wrong; I understand you feel alone, but your really not alone here.

Oh, wait. My bad "You're not alone here."

[4EverMe]

So, it would be counter productive to reveal what's bothering you, because you don't know us, and we don't know you?
I understand that you're upset. You also have the right to say what's on mind.
What's fair is fair, and I likewise will exercise the right to speak mind. I just wanna ask, what's up with the games? If you see no point in talking without getting sarcastic with those who reach out to you, up then? What do you want out of this?
Keep one thing mind; Those of us who've tried to communicate with you, are also through difficult times and issues. I believe that's what Frame meant, when he conveyed to you that you're not alone. There's nothing confusing about that at all...
I'm inclined to believe you're hurt, angry and feeling sarcastic

[4EverMe]

Sorry about the left out words above. I'm still learning to use my first smart phone!

[wanttobedead]

Alone is alone.

You've all got people in your actual lives who need someone to talk to, and you're all on the internet looking to assist random words on a screen.

I don't get that at all.

This is like a book that talks back.

What do I do with that?

[4EverMe]

Read.
Also, many of us do not have people we can confide in whenever we wish. Although, for those who DO?
On this, you made a valid point...

[fallen]

behind all ' the random words' are people like you who are hurting, and they feel purpose in their lives by coming on here and sharing 'their random words' with other people who may understand their hurt or loneliness or deep depression.
the internet is not a soul less place it is full of such people seeking wisdom , comfort and connection.
these might be fleeting, but in that moment comfort can be found in 'the random words.'
some poems are made up of 'random words' but they can fill a soul with joy and take that person on a euphoric ride into their imagination.
we all understand you are hurting, you are unique but your pain is not.
when i am at my worst i always think of the people who are hurting more.
we are the lucky ones .
take care