One of those days.

[DeeDubs]

I've been having a tough time the past few weeks. I work a low paying job, surviving off my grandmother who's health isn't faring well these days.

At work, there's no possibility of a raise or promotion (I've been vocal about that topic) and now there's been redistricting of the employees which puts me at one of the farthest away stores in my district. I get this despite informing my manager and supervisors of the run down state of my car (and that being placed in my closest store would allow me to walk and bike there) and the increased cost of gas combined with my low wage.

My mom stopped by yesterday to encourage me into going back to school for a career oriented degree. She's right and I want to, but I'm very afraid of going back. I got my associates (game & web design degree), but from a poor school that promised the world and delivered nothing at all. Now I'm struggling with student loan debts that are nearing the $100k mark. I don't want to be taken advantage of again.

Didn't go to work yesterday nor today. Got a call from my old supervisor that I didn't answer. He requested a call back because everyone is getting worried. I lay in bed almost all day hating the world, myself and thinking about doing 'permanent' things to myself. Looking up some of those things online, which inadvertently led me here.

So now I suppose I'm venting. Not really sure. Just typing, listening to some buddhist videos on youtube, and will probably continue reading the new book a bought over the weekend, "Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life's Most Important Skill by Ricard Mathieu". Hope it helps.

[kathywell]

Living with depression is really a tough job. I had been through this trauma. But my family support and depression therapies has worked for me. And now I am living a happy life with friends and family.