This week had been a wicked roller coaster ride. If it weren't for having to take my son to school and attend doctor's appointmnets, I'd be in bed.
Just a bit of a bio on me....My name is Leanne. I'm 35, a single mother of one son who will be turning 7 in May. I am on disability due to Crohn's Disease (diagnosed in 1997) and secondarily suffering from Bipolar 1.
My son plays hockey and had a game tonight. We had to be at the rink for 415. Prior to getting to the rink, Julian and I spent the day toboganning at a local "hill". I live in Manitoba, Canada and we are in the prairies.....the prairies are as flat as a teenage boy. We made it to the rink and after Julian was dressed, the last thing that needed to be done was to put his helmet on. I grabbed the helmet from the bench by the face mask and "the pill" grabbed the helmet and started playing tug o war with it. He twisted all my fingers and my wrist. I tried my hardest not to cry b/c Julian is a very sensitive kid. I just couldn't bring myself to stick around for Julian's hockey game that' show upset I was. I gave Julian a kiss and I left. I've been crying since approx 430.
ANYWAYS, I went over to my parent's place bc I needed to talk/vent....the conversation with my mom started out ok, but then my dad waslked into the room, my mom brought him up to speed and then shit hit the fan! As per usual, my parent's just went off on me and tore me a few new asses. "The pill" has also got himself a new girlfirend. Of course it's normal for this to bother me, but not to the point to where it consumes my life. So my dad, amongst his yelling, he said to me that maybe Julian should be hanging around her. I took that as I'm not a person that MY SON shouldn't be hanging around me. f***!
Julian has hockey tomorrow and his teams wind up on on Sunday......I know the answer is probably soooo simple, but like my dad also told me-there's something missing upstairs with me. In a situation like this, it's hard to see through the clouds and say to yourself "Go! Be the better person!" Not only do I get this kind of treatment from "the pill", but now I'm getting it from my parents and my "so-called best friend". What do you guys think?
I'm all over the map and don't know whether or not if I'm coming or going. I saw my shrink yesterday and he suggested that I should make a list of things that need to be done say tomorrow and when you check off whatever chore that's completed, it gives you a level of self-satisfaction giving myself somewhat of a purpose. Makes sense.....I've done this before, got plenty accomplished but I'm in a much worse place from when I initially heard of this "technique"....
Seriously, that's one long post and I thank those who made it through reading it.
Any input or advice is greatly appreciated......I look forward to hearing from you....even if it's just to say hello.
I hope that everyone had a great day........
Leanne
