My life history could be a poster child for depression. I could make my own commercial for the latest and greatest drug for anxiety, depression etc.
I believe my problems started in childhood. I was sexually abused (wow, now EVERYONE knows) as a child by my stepfather. No one believed me at first. Then my parents divorced, but it was because he was cheating on my mom, not because of the abuse. So with all that came depression, suicidal thoughts and guilt. Guilt because my mom still "loved" this monster who had abused me, and I felt that the divorce was my fault. I was happy that they divorced, because I would'nt be abused anymore. But sad for my Mom because she was hurt.
I got married right out of high school. Got divorced 5 years later. More depression more "what have I done". I was cheated on. We had 3 beautiful children from the marriage. I had the kids, and thats the only thing I think truely saved me. I had to focus on them, and not my emotional termoil.
Two years later I met a guy in the personal ads (never hook up with someone in the personals, no matter how desperate you think you are to date!) I was with him for three years. We were even engaged! I had a son by him. Then my world fell apart once again. Turning a long story short, he is a petafile. My kids were almost taken away from me, until everyone realized I had nothing to do with his horrible acts. The kids weren't touched, they were shown pornagraphic material and were being "groomed" for whatever, thankfully didn't happen. At this point the kids were in counseling, and it was decided that I should go through therapy with them. That was the first time I ever saw a therapist. It was the most wonderful, frightening, relieving, heart wrenching, sad, glad, mad, depressed, anxiety filled time of my life. I was forced to deal with my childhood sexual abuse. Up until that time only my Mom and sister knew. Now this "stranger" knew. It was out in the open. It wasn't festering in me anymore. This was the time I was full of anxiety and panic attacks. I didn't know at the time what an anxiety/panic attack was but I would sob uncontrollably and feel like I was going to suffocate to death. My therapist suggested that I get on medication for my panic attacks. She said we could also do some breathing and mental excersizes first to see if I could control them. After time these excersizes worked! I was glad because I didn't need to take meds. Thank you for letting me share!
Poster child
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ButterflyKisses
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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
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ButterflyKisses,
Oh you have had a full plate, haven't you. So glad you decided to share with us. Hopefully doing so will help you get through another day. Know we will give all the support and understanding that we can.
Life can be troublesome, even harder when it starts in childhood. Protecting your children is the one thing you can do, can give them. You are keeping them safe from all the horrible things in life, what a loving mother you are. Getting that professional help was the greatest thing you could do.
You have come such a long way. A pat on the back and a gold star coming your way from me.
Hope to exchange thoughts with you again. Take care...............
Warmie
Oh you have had a full plate, haven't you. So glad you decided to share with us. Hopefully doing so will help you get through another day. Know we will give all the support and understanding that we can.
Life can be troublesome, even harder when it starts in childhood. Protecting your children is the one thing you can do, can give them. You are keeping them safe from all the horrible things in life, what a loving mother you are. Getting that professional help was the greatest thing you could do.
You have come such a long way. A pat on the back and a gold star coming your way from me.
Hope to exchange thoughts with you again. Take care...............
Warmie
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ButterflyKisses
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Stephen
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As Jeanie said, you certainly have had a lot of not-so-great (to put it mildly), occurrences in your life.
I too had an abusive childhood, which still haunts me now at the grand old age of 34. Thankfully my abuse wasn't of a sexual nature (more physical violence and mental abuse). I admire you for having been so strong throughout the years. After all you've been through, you're still here, and are able to talk openly about things.
It's definitely true: never hook up with someone in the personals. My so called dad, my abuser, is forever using them for whatever ends. It often seems such a bleak world to me when we have to be so guarded of those around us.
On the other hand -- and to shine a more positive light on my life -- my consolation is that I have met some wonderful people (via depression in part), and their support and understanding has been the thing that has generally helped me through. I'm so glad you have your children that help you in this capacity ButterflyKisses -- to survive and fight the terrible illness that depression is.
I hope to hear how things are going for you at the moment ButterflyKisses, or perhaps we'll bump into one another in the depression chat room. I'm mainly around at about 8pm most nights (your time). Else, I hope to post to you again, here, in the forums.
Stephen
I too had an abusive childhood, which still haunts me now at the grand old age of 34. Thankfully my abuse wasn't of a sexual nature (more physical violence and mental abuse). I admire you for having been so strong throughout the years. After all you've been through, you're still here, and are able to talk openly about things.
It's definitely true: never hook up with someone in the personals. My so called dad, my abuser, is forever using them for whatever ends. It often seems such a bleak world to me when we have to be so guarded of those around us.
On the other hand -- and to shine a more positive light on my life -- my consolation is that I have met some wonderful people (via depression in part), and their support and understanding has been the thing that has generally helped me through. I'm so glad you have your children that help you in this capacity ButterflyKisses -- to survive and fight the terrible illness that depression is.
I hope to hear how things are going for you at the moment ButterflyKisses, or perhaps we'll bump into one another in the depression chat room. I'm mainly around at about 8pm most nights (your time). Else, I hope to post to you again, here, in the forums.
Stephen
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ButterflyKisses
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Stephen
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It's certainly not easy ButterflyKisses. "Fighting the fight" can be so draining - but we have to keep trying, don't we? I'm sure in the end you'll get out of the water (deep or shallow), and live a more fulfilling and happier life. By the law of averages, lucky breaks must be destined your way soon.
It was great to talk to you too ButterflyKisses, and I hope we get to talk again soon (I'm about most nights).
Oddly enough it was a sunny day here also; the first sunny day in ages. My "S.A.D." and I were very happy about it!
Talk or post soon,
Stephen
It was great to talk to you too ButterflyKisses, and I hope we get to talk again soon (I'm about most nights).
Oddly enough it was a sunny day here also; the first sunny day in ages. My "S.A.D." and I were very happy about it!
Talk or post soon,
Stephen
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ButterflyKisses
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ButterflyKisses
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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
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Stephen
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Agreed, working hours can cause so many problems regarding relationships. I hope your job, and these hours (overall) don't make you miss out on too much quality time with your children. How old are they, by the way?
All isn't too bad with me today (thanks for asking)... how are you, Jeanie and ButterflyKisses?
Stephen
All isn't too bad with me today (thanks for asking)... how are you, Jeanie and ButterflyKisses?
Stephen
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ButterflyKisses
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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
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ButterflyKisses
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