My girlfriend needs help

Depression/anxiety may have touched your family, your friends, yourself; what helps you to deal with it? Sharing is caring!

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BrokenPen
Posts: 145
Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2009 12:18 am

My girlfriend needs help

Postby BrokenPen » Fri Apr 26, 2019 10:01 pm

Hello everyone.

I want to warn you that what I'm about to tell you may be triggering or it may be hard to read but I don't really know what to do.

I'm in a relationship with a wonderful woman for the last three years but she's had bouts of depression. It's been pretty manageable but lately it's gotten worse. She's been talking about how this will be her last year alive and how she needs to find a lawyer for a will and to send letters to her friends and family.

In fairness to her, she's had a pretty rough life between an abusive mother, years of bullying by classmates and an adult life that hasn't been all that easy either.

I've been trying to get her to see a therapist but she refuses to see anyone.

What can I do? I don't want to lose her.

bartelby
Posts: 6
Joined: Sat Apr 27, 2019 2:22 pm

Re: My girlfriend needs help

Postby bartelby » Sat Apr 27, 2019 2:27 pm

Hello. It's great that you are trying to get help for her. For the first step I would recommend getting in touch with her psychiatrist, assuming she's having a treatment. If you can't contact her doctor, then you can call suicide hotlines and try to get help.

BrokenPen
Posts: 145
Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2009 12:18 am

Re: My girlfriend needs help

Postby BrokenPen » Thu May 02, 2019 10:25 pm

I'm trying so hard to help her but no matter what I do, it doesn't help. In fact it makes things worse. She keeps going into these cycles of phrases.

"Don't you see? I can't be saved! I'm too broken! I'm a loser!"

And now she's talking about ending her life at the end of the year.

Sadinatura
Posts: 55
Joined: Mon Mar 04, 2019 6:26 pm

Re: My girlfriend needs help

Postby Sadinatura » Fri May 03, 2019 11:19 am

Maybe help her realize how much she means to you and how you would be without her. Show her all of the consequences and what it's like when someone dies. Especially someone you love.

BrokenPen
Posts: 145
Joined: Mon Mar 30, 2009 12:18 am

Re: My girlfriend needs help

Postby BrokenPen » Fri May 03, 2019 6:18 pm

I am trying to make her realize how much she means to me. But I think her depression is from a pretty deep an existential place because she kept saying that even if she would go to therapy, what else would there be for her? She asked me that question so many times that I can't answer. Of course, I could answer but no answer I could give was one she wanted to hear. Almost like she wanted me to tell her that it's hopeless and that she's right that she's too broken to be saved. I don't believe that for one instant but I understand her thinking.

When I suffered from depression, I knew that medication and therapy wasn't helping. Because with all the therapy and drugs I was taking, it wasn't changing the reality of what I was facing. And I think that's what she's facing right now that despite anything she would do, it wouldn't change the reality of her situation.

So, now I'm just as stuck as she is. She sees no hope for her situation or her life and now she's talking about her plan for the end and I'm at my wits end.


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