Faking it?

Depression/anxiety may have touched your family, your friends, yourself; what helps you to deal with it? Sharing is caring!

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Alice84
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Aug 13, 2016 8:18 am

Faking it?

Postby Alice84 » Sat Aug 13, 2016 8:21 am

So my friend claims that she has depression, social anxiety, and insomnia. Of course i supported her when she told me, but now its a bit... weird. Once she wanted to get food from the canteen, but she said she can’t bc of her social anxiety, so i got it for her. But the thing is, she can always go up and and get food when she wants to, and she’s the most outgoing person I know. She literally goes up to strangers and has a full on convo. And with the insomnia, when she’s at my house or vice versa, she’s always the first to get to sleep. And its literally 5 mins after going to bed. I whisper her name and she doesn’t respond. And from what i’ve heard, insomnia means you can hardly EVER get to sleep, and you can’t really pick and choose either. And we’re always together to, its not like its a once a year thing. And she always says stuff like “I feel like falling asleep right now… Oh that’s right i can’t!” but she seems fine when she’s at mine… And also, she started to cut once,(funny how she chose the most well known type of self harm ey?) and me and her friends we’re like “Oh my god! Are you ok? Do you need help? Im always here to talk!” ect like good friends do. But when it was brought up to the school, they wanted to give her free counselling (free!) and she imminently stopped cutting. You can’t just stop self harming. I know from personal experience. And she wasn’t cutting in any other places either, because we would get changed into PE uniform at school, and you would be able to notice if she was. And she’s ALWAYS saying she’s depressed and stuff, (and if she is she’s got a right if she wants help) but whenever we suggest anon help lines and stuff, she turns it down. Anyway, i feel super bad thinking like this, but i can’t help it. I don’t know if I’m a bad friend, or she is faking it any advice? (sorry about how long this is)

Helloraspberries1
Posts: 260
Joined: Wed May 25, 2016 2:11 pm

Re: Faking it?

Postby Helloraspberries1 » Sat Aug 13, 2016 11:42 am

Hi Alice84, sorry to hear what your going through.

Friendships are hard and we can easily fall out with close friends we care about but when we do its so hard to make up again.

It's always important that we try and not upset someone or say something what we don't mean to a friend were close to. That way it may sound that your accusing of something or gonna make the situation worse. I know because I've been there.

As it's not got to that it maybe a good idea to have a think how you can go about your actions in a dignified way.

You say she's saying that she's depressed, has anxiety and insomnia. Why do you think that? Is she really telling lies? You may need to be careful what you say and you address it. I would recommend talking to a friend in the group or all your other friends in the group and ask them how you all can go about it by telling her your concerns and worries and what you think. That way you won't be blurring it out and upsetting her. Also another thing you can do and I don't know if it's a good idea or not depending if you can do it but maybe talking to her mum? Talk to her about your concerns for her and see what she says about her issues. I don't know whether your close to her mum or not but If you feel like talking to her mum is gonna help you in this situation then do it cuz you got nothing to lose. Talking to someone who she's really close to and sometimes work in the kind of situations. You may find that the problem will solve it's self afterwards.

I would suggest either talk to your friends and get it solved between you on how to confront your friend about your concerns or talk to someone lime her mum and get her to maybe have a word with her or tell you what she's like.

I hope that helps and good luck X

By the way your not a bad friend, your a very supportive and down to earth friend. Your just trying to help.

Prycejosh1987
Posts: 424
Joined: Sun May 31, 2020 10:54 am
Location: Birmingham UK

Re: Faking it?

Postby Prycejosh1987 » Fri Jun 05, 2020 1:41 pm

Alice84 wrote:So my friend claims that she has depression, social anxiety, and insomnia. Of course i supported her when she told me, but now its a bit... weird. Once she wanted to get food from the canteen, but she said she can’t bc of her social anxiety, so i got it for her. But the thing is, she can always go up and and get food when she wants to, and she’s the most outgoing person I know. She literally goes up to strangers and has a full on convo. And with the insomnia, when she’s at my house or vice versa, she’s always the first to get to sleep. And its literally 5 mins after going to bed. I whisper her name and she doesn’t respond. And from what i’ve heard, insomnia means you can hardly EVER get to sleep, and you can’t really pick and choose either. And we’re always together to, its not like its a once a year thing. And she always says stuff like “I feel like falling asleep right now… Oh that’s right i can’t!” but she seems fine when she’s at mine… And also, she started to cut once,(funny how she chose the most well known type of self harm ey?) and me and her friends we’re like “Oh my god! Are you ok? Do you need help? Im always here to talk!” ect like good friends do. But when it was brought up to the school, they wanted to give her free counselling (free!) and she imminently stopped cutting. You can’t just stop self harming. I know from personal experience. And she wasn’t cutting in any other places either, because we would get changed into PE uniform at school, and you would be able to notice if she was. And she’s ALWAYS saying she’s depressed and stuff, (and if she is she’s got a right if she wants help) but whenever we suggest anon help lines and stuff, she turns it down. Anyway, i feel super bad thinking like this, but i can’t help it. I don’t know if I’m a bad friend, or she is faking it any advice? (sorry about how long this is)

Insomnia doesnt mean you never sleep it means you dont get lots of sleep often. When i had the issue, for weeks i couldnt sleep properly but days came where i would get to sleep quickly. When the body is tired you have to sleep. Its really hard to tell. You can stop self harming. Some people refuse to get help and prefer to deal with things themselves. You are not a bad friend you were concerned and thats a good friend. Dont feel bad.


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