Page 1 of 1

Help needed: I love someone who's going through depression

Posted: Tue Dec 31, 2013 11:08 pm
by scrazzle
Almost 2 yrs ago I met a man who I didn't know could love me so much. Fast -forward to 6 months ago, we are happily engaged and planning our wedding until he slipped into a depression. He admits it only on "bad days" and has sought some treatment/therapy - but not consistently enough to really be effective. I've seen a therapist before to deal with stress and I know the key is consistency. I've encouraged him and supported him as much as I can...but some days I just need a partner!

He thinks that I don't "accept" his issue. I tell him that I see what he is going through...but that it's really hard for me too because I can't express how much it effects me, how it makes me sad, how it makes me lose hope for our future together, how it makes me feel so alone at times...saying anything negative just makes him feel worse. I'm not allowed to bother him, need him,

So what do I do? Who do I talk to? I'm at the point where I need help for myself...I'm beginning to be broken by his disease.

Posted: Tue Dec 31, 2013 11:58 pm
by CrazyLady17
First of all; welcome :)

Second of all;
I am so sorry to hear about this, I know it can be difficult.

And finally;
Give it some time okay? It'll get easier, don't be so hard on yourself alright?
Take one day at a time..
I know love is hard and all, but it will get easier promise.

Keep reaching out if it helps.

(((Hugs)))

Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 12:24 am
by scrazzle
Thank you.

Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2014 12:28 am
by CrazyLady17
Also it's NOT a disease, depression is an illness...
And maybe see your doctor and ask him/her for some counselling and maybe some couple counselling?
It's worth a try.
You can talk to your doctor about how you are feeling and how his depression is making you feel and they'll be able to help you.

Posted: Tue Feb 04, 2014 3:34 am
by BagLady_
I know it must be so hard, but give him time and don't give up on him. I'm in the same position but I think I'm your fiancé in this scenario. My husband loves me to the moon and back but I can see how my depression weighs on him and I feel horrible because of course I don't want it to be this way. But I can't help the bad days, as much as I wish I could. It's an every day battle, even on the not so bad days. I'm sure your fiancé is fighting as hard as he can, but it takes time.