From your post I am guessing that your spouse has depression?
It is hard to judge, and it is hard to know what to do. People will tell you their opinion, based on their life experience, values and spiritual background. At the end, you are the only one that know how much you can take, who knows how far you want to go into the relationship.
My ex-wife succeeded (as far as I can tell) when she left, not only because I didn't fight, but because she had family willing to support her and see her succeed. I hadn't thought of it till now but, trying to do it alone could be so much harder. And we both know under the best circumstances it's not easy.
So perhaps part of the break (should it come to that) will be laying the ground work before hand, of convincing people you need that this is better for everyone. In doing that work you may gather the facts you need to actually make the decision; is it better to leave or better to stay. Getting commitments (or not) for help before hand, could give you peace of mind and courage.
But, you know Rice, stay or go you can still work toward balance and equality in the relationship. Most of the choices in that vein might be difficult and about stepping back; they may seem to run counter to compassion. But choosing maintain your dignity is not a selfish ddecision. It's about balance and creating a greater good for the whole.
My ex-wife succeeded (as far as I can tell) when she left, not only because I didn't fight, but because she had family willing to support her and see her succeed. I hadn't thought of it till now but, trying to do it alone could be so much harder. And we both know under the best circumstances it's not easy.