Family doesn't "Get Me"
Posted: Sat Aug 03, 2013 5:54 am
So I, like many others I have seen post here, have to deal with family who doesn't understand me.
My Dad: My dad does seem to sort of get how I feel. He himself has had to go on antidepressants and medications and spend time in a hospital, so he understands. I went in the hospital for observation once while living there because I called, afraid to tell them, but called our local Dispatch Office and a deputy came out and told them and said I needed to be observed. Dad's girlfriend calmed down for the night but after that went back to treating me like dirt. At one point after moving I was put in a mental health facility when all I went to the ER for was being unable to breathe. I told my dad on the phone and he told me to "stop it and act right". It really hurt and I spent the rest of my time in there just as depressed as when I came in. He always let his now ex-girlfriend yell at me and talk down to me. I remember once she told us dinner was ready, I put away my homework and went in the kitchen just to have her scream at me that I needed to stop eating, that I stayed up all night and ate every thing, I was just going to keep on until I had to stab myself in the arm for diabetes and lose my legs, that my arteries were gonna harden and I was going to die. All anyone ever did was scream at me and call me a liar. I even caught my sister sneaking food late at night and they refused to believe that it wasn't me. I also found out later that most of my things they were supposed to send me from home are now ruined by her chain smoking. Most of my things were gifts from my grandma and uncle that I cannot replace.
My mom: I don't know if she really knows how it is, she just sees me as "Oh hey, move in with me and we'll lie to get you disability and medicated up and free stuff!" She could care less if I was happy. She even wants me to move back to Kentucky and leave my husband here in North Carolina. She used to tell my sister and I that we didn't need to get married and have kids because they will ruin your life.
My sister: She's the younger of the two of us and very negative and opinionated. She always says it's my fault, I just want attention, I need to grow up, I'm faking it, I need to grow a pair etc. Yet she has to deal with the same things I did. She's made fun of, doesn't have friends, she yells at every one, argues with everyone, always tries to prove them wrong.
My aunts and uncles are a different story. Most of them do understand what I'm going through, as they know everything that has ever happened in my life, however I have one aunt that I cannot stand. She thinks I'm making it all up, I'm just always in a bad mood because I stay up too late, that I'm lazy, I just want attention, she thinks I don't need children of my own because I can't stand her heathens that she can't even raise herself. I even have to block her from seeing anything that I post to facebook because the one time that I colored my hair a color I have wanted to try for a long time, she made fun of it and my sister told me about it. She told me not to move to North Carolina to be with my husband because I would end up dead, she would tell me to leave boyfriends that I was with when I lived back home and always tried to set me up with 40 year old men she worked with. She told everyone that I wouldn't make it when I moved to North Carolina, I'd come home. When my husband and I got married everyone it wouldn't last. I can't stand being alone and the one time I posted that I wanted to get a dog, she told me I didn't need a dog. She tries to tell me how to live my life, yet tells people "in secret" something different. There have been countless times her kids have repeated something she said to them and she quickly said "YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO REPEAT THAT!" She does the same things to my sister.
My husband's family are the same way. They cut ties with their own members and cut ties with us just because I stood up to them when my husband wouldn't. They think I'm just lazy and even told my Thirteen year old sister-in-law that we owed them money but knew we didn't have it because "He has to feed his wife." They think I make up all my problems.
Really I'm tired of feeling the way I do, looking the way I do, always being afraid of everything, being lonely, I've been basically homeless three times in the last few years and now dealing with a landlord that triggers all of this and hardly anyone to turn to. I thought family was supposed to support you. I don't know how to make them see how I feel.
My Dad: My dad does seem to sort of get how I feel. He himself has had to go on antidepressants and medications and spend time in a hospital, so he understands. I went in the hospital for observation once while living there because I called, afraid to tell them, but called our local Dispatch Office and a deputy came out and told them and said I needed to be observed. Dad's girlfriend calmed down for the night but after that went back to treating me like dirt. At one point after moving I was put in a mental health facility when all I went to the ER for was being unable to breathe. I told my dad on the phone and he told me to "stop it and act right". It really hurt and I spent the rest of my time in there just as depressed as when I came in. He always let his now ex-girlfriend yell at me and talk down to me. I remember once she told us dinner was ready, I put away my homework and went in the kitchen just to have her scream at me that I needed to stop eating, that I stayed up all night and ate every thing, I was just going to keep on until I had to stab myself in the arm for diabetes and lose my legs, that my arteries were gonna harden and I was going to die. All anyone ever did was scream at me and call me a liar. I even caught my sister sneaking food late at night and they refused to believe that it wasn't me. I also found out later that most of my things they were supposed to send me from home are now ruined by her chain smoking. Most of my things were gifts from my grandma and uncle that I cannot replace.
My mom: I don't know if she really knows how it is, she just sees me as "Oh hey, move in with me and we'll lie to get you disability and medicated up and free stuff!" She could care less if I was happy. She even wants me to move back to Kentucky and leave my husband here in North Carolina. She used to tell my sister and I that we didn't need to get married and have kids because they will ruin your life.
My sister: She's the younger of the two of us and very negative and opinionated. She always says it's my fault, I just want attention, I need to grow up, I'm faking it, I need to grow a pair etc. Yet she has to deal with the same things I did. She's made fun of, doesn't have friends, she yells at every one, argues with everyone, always tries to prove them wrong.
My aunts and uncles are a different story. Most of them do understand what I'm going through, as they know everything that has ever happened in my life, however I have one aunt that I cannot stand. She thinks I'm making it all up, I'm just always in a bad mood because I stay up too late, that I'm lazy, I just want attention, she thinks I don't need children of my own because I can't stand her heathens that she can't even raise herself. I even have to block her from seeing anything that I post to facebook because the one time that I colored my hair a color I have wanted to try for a long time, she made fun of it and my sister told me about it. She told me not to move to North Carolina to be with my husband because I would end up dead, she would tell me to leave boyfriends that I was with when I lived back home and always tried to set me up with 40 year old men she worked with. She told everyone that I wouldn't make it when I moved to North Carolina, I'd come home. When my husband and I got married everyone it wouldn't last. I can't stand being alone and the one time I posted that I wanted to get a dog, she told me I didn't need a dog. She tries to tell me how to live my life, yet tells people "in secret" something different. There have been countless times her kids have repeated something she said to them and she quickly said "YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO REPEAT THAT!" She does the same things to my sister.
My husband's family are the same way. They cut ties with their own members and cut ties with us just because I stood up to them when my husband wouldn't. They think I'm just lazy and even told my Thirteen year old sister-in-law that we owed them money but knew we didn't have it because "He has to feed his wife." They think I make up all my problems.
Really I'm tired of feeling the way I do, looking the way I do, always being afraid of everything, being lonely, I've been basically homeless three times in the last few years and now dealing with a landlord that triggers all of this and hardly anyone to turn to. I thought family was supposed to support you. I don't know how to make them see how I feel.