Boyfriend with depression - advice and experience welcome

Depression/anxiety may have touched your family, your friends, yourself; what helps you to deal with it? Sharing is caring!

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Joined: Thu Feb 25, 2021 3:43 am

Boyfriend with depression - advice and experience welcome

Postby sirena » Thu Feb 25, 2021 3:55 am

Hello all,
I'm currently in bed way past my bed time still feeling very distraught after an argument with my boyfriend. He is struggling with depression. I've been supporting him for so long and I feel like it's reached a point where I have become very unhappy. I'm so tired of being the only person in the house doing all the chores, cooking all the food and then on top of that being in charge of "being nice" to him too. I want to be supportive and give him what he needs but I just don't feel like I have the strength to do it right now. A week ago he told me he "didn't want to participate" in certain parts of our relationship. Parts that are important to me and it made it even harder to continue to run our house as if we are partners. I'm mostly writing to get this off my chest. I love him, but supporting him is difficult sometimes. There are some days that it feels like too much. I would love to know if other partners have felt the same way and what they did to help with the feeling. I go to therapy and my boyfriend goes to therapy. I want to try going together, if he's up for it. I'd love any advice or sharing of similar experience. I can't go to my friends to talk because I don't want them to think badly of my partner.

jessica james
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Joined: Tue Dec 22, 2020 2:46 pm

Re: Boyfriend with depression - advice and experience welcome

Postby jessica james » Thu Feb 25, 2021 2:28 pm

I am not being judgemental but I think I would rather prefer providing that depressed person some counseling sessions. It would be rude if I provoke someone’s feelings for me and I just not be up to my promises. I had also suffered from long-term anxiety and stress and I know how it feels to be in that phase. So I don’t want to give this panic to anyone else. Being a friend or being a counselor is instead a very good option.
No matter how much you say things will work out, at some point they won’t. I, personally don’t believe in instant healing and I don’t want to hurt a wounded heart. I’m always open to help and counseling in my circle. I want people to communicate, interact and open up about their depression. To be honest, a depressed person should focus more on how to come out of it rather than who to date and be with. Trust me people can listen to you but are not going to solve your problem.

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Joined: Fri Mar 05, 2021 4:51 pm

Re: Boyfriend with depression - advice and experience welcome

Postby Brennen_Green20 » Tue Mar 16, 2021 2:14 pm

You are responsible for your own health, mental and physical. You love him, but love is not enough. Love doesn't pay the bills and if he is not sharing the burden with you then you will tend to lose your sanity as well.
Do not take his burden on yourself and tell him to take counseling and depression therapies.
Draw a line already and focus on your own mental health.

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