hi

[M]

I am 19 years old and have been struggling with mild biopolar depression since I was a little. I have trouble communicating and connecting with people so it makes me feel worse because I do not have many friends, mainly just one, and I have never been in a romantic relationship. When I was younger it was not such a problem but now that I am older it is really starting to affect me. When I was 14 I developed an anxiety disorder, right before my mom passed away. I want to have a normal life. I want to have a relationship and eventually a husband and kids. I want to have a good job too. I feel like such a failure in life. I have been having an extra hard time dealing with my emotions lately and do not have anyone that I could talk to that would understand so I searched the internet for a forum or chat room with people that could relate to me.

[hollyann]

M welcome to the forum. There is a chatroom with this site, both the forum and the chat are very useful. Sorry to hear about your mom passing away. You are not a failure. I'm sorry your emotions are out of control. Are you on meds? Have you recently had them adjusted? I know some people are just put on a moodstabilizer, then in their really bad lows an antidepressant is added, or some take both.

I want to tell you there is hope for you out there. When stabilized on meds. And the right combo is found, it allows you to be what I call somewhere in between. It doesn't stop you from feeling happy if the case calls for it. And it doesn't stop you from feeling sad if the situation calls for it. But makes it where they aren't to the extremes.

Im 27. I have a 9 year old (almost 10) boy. I also have bipolar 1 rapid cycle, ptsd, and panic with agoroaphobic tendicies. And a year and a half ago I had met the love of my life. He loved me even knowing what my conditions was. And he had done his best to help me through them.

I'm not trying to turn this about me, but I just wanted to let you know there is hope out there. You can have children. You can have a relationship. There is hope, and there is a future. You don't have to put those dreams away.

Holly

[Jaymn]

You are in the right place M! You'll eventually find all of those things if you really want them. Keep you head up!